(by SockPuppet - not a metrosexual soccer player like Beckham)
It’s Bogan Baby-Making round
I dunno why we ever had a baby bonus in the first place. This was babyfaced Liberal Treasurar Pete Costellos only contribution to society in his whole time in Parliament – getting 16 year old bogan girls out of school and into Harvey Norman looking for Plasma TVs. If you thought Labor wasted money handing out stimulus cheques of $900 then what about the waste caused by smarmy Pete? Not to mention the type of stimulation he caused in young unmarried girls.
But Wayne swans budget this week brings an end to Costellos $5000 baby bonus but not until the 1st of March next year. This clever trick is designed to get all would-be-parents on the job to get up the duff this week to make sure there kid pops out with a bag full of money.
The implacatins of this political cost saving move are already being felt. And I am not just talkin about at the chemist who are no longer able to shift condoms.
I am talkin about Down the pub where-By blokes like me are now getting prepositioned by all manner of single young bogan females looking to cash in before the dead line.
I have made several agreements based on a 50/50 share of the five grand.
You lot should get in on this scheme before its too late. These chicks dont even care what you look like. I recommend The Burvale or the Ferntree Gully hotels as the best places to advertise your rentadick.
And Its very bad news for the AFL especially Collingwood who are expecting record low crowds over the weekend as 90% of there bogan feral fans will be too busy (and too stuffed) to go to the game.
See I knew i could tie this back into the footy – its called a sedge way. Here are my tips:
West Coast v North Melbourne: This has been billed as the clash of the big black Fijian Nic Knackersnewie from West Coast Coast and the big black Sudanease player Magic Door from North. Magic has only played 4 games and Knackersnewie is a proven star so I will go for the Eagles.
Essendon v Brisbane: The bombers will not even need to cheat to win this one.
Hawthorn v Greater western sydney: Put your money on a record score.
Gold Coast v Western Footscray: Beating Melbourne in Melbourne last week was like a premiership for the GC but There is no way they can win two-in-a-row.
Collingwood v Geelong: Half of the Collingwood team has been out all week shagging bogan girls so they will be too rooted to play. But Geelong players are gays so they will be fresh.
Sydney v Fremantle: I could go either way here. Like Adam Goodes does.
Carlton v Port Adelaide: I am tempted to tip the upset here but it is in Emirates stadium in Melbourne under a roof.
Richmond v Melbourne: Look if anyone is capable of losing the unloseable it is Richmond but I think they will just scrape in. How come Melbourne is still in the AFL?
Adelaide v St Kilda: I am not prepared to go against Rays orders.
I have to go now – I hav another appointment with someone called Cheyarne from Cranbourne South.
As I predicted several times in this blog Tony Abbott has decided to Keep Labor’s “compensation” package when the hated Carbon Tax is deservedly thrown out after September 14:
This is utterly brilliant politics that very neatly cuts Labor off from the otherwise guaranteed scare campaign about the coalition and it renders Gillard and Co impotent in their attacks. While I’m sure that those true believers who are fighting their utter despair with disbelief and denial will crash very hard on September 14 ordinary Labor voters like those on Pensions and benefits can breathe a sigh of relief that they won’t be the ones feeling the pain for Labor’s maladministration of the nation over the last six years. However those in cushy jobs in the Climate change edifice will be quaking in their boots right now as they will be madly searching for new positions, now before the post September rush.
Over all I think that what Abbott offers here is entirely sensible both politically and economically and he has managed to press all of the right buttons more importantly what he says is credible, something Wayne Swan is utterly incapable of being.
Am I the only one who thinks that Gillard’s tears are more than a little contrived here? Heaven in a hand basket what a woeful example of an excess of emotion! I can’t help but think that her tears are not for the disabled and their carers but for herself and the rabble that she leads.
Knowing the influence the Sandpit has on popular opinion, Joe likes to keep me in the loop regarding the latest Liberal Party news.
He sent me this email last night.
Tonight Wayne Swan will deliver his sixth Budget.
In this Budget, Wayne Swan needs to do what he hasn’t done before – and that’s to be honest with the Australian people about the true state of the Budget. Australia’s quarter of a trillion dollar debt and four record deficits are testimony to a Treasurer who continues to hide from the truth about Australia’s worsening financial position. When you are dealing with the nation’s finances, anything less than honesty is totally unacceptable.
These are the tests that the Coalition will use to judge tonight’s Budget:
- Is the Budget based on honest and credible assumptions – or will it continue the dishonest paper shuffles and the ‘cook-the-books’ culture of recent years?
- Does it demonstrate a speedy path back to surplus in 2013-14 by cutting waste – or will Labor continue on with its profligate spending?
- Does it bring debt under control – or will Labor again increase the debt ceiling above its current $300 billion?
- Does it rule out new tax grabs such as further new taxes on superannuation?
- Does it detail how Labor will pay for its big spending initiatives like Gonski and the NDIS?
The time has come for Wayne Swan to stop making promises he cannot keep and to start telling the truth about the real state of the nation’s finances.
Joe Hockey Shadow Treasurer
Thanks for that Joe. I’m sure all the Sandpit readers will be in complete agreement, well those of sound mind anyway.
And btw, thanks for the link to the latest Liberal publication, ‘The Little Book of Big Labor Waste’.
Update for leftards too lazy to read a pdf:
These are but two examples of a litany of over sixty equally flagrant abuses of taxpayer funds in ‘The Little Book of Big Labor Waste’.
Of course leftards will continue to stick their fingers in their ears and shout ‘la la la’, while refusing to see anything other than their own failed socialist view and their dreams of one day, somewhere in the distant future, being given a chance to once more wreak havoc on Australian society and its economy.
I used to rank Bill Shorten as a political talent until his rather infamous affirmation of Gillard’s position even though he had no idea what that position was. Its the sort of thing you would expect from the writers of “Yes Prime Minister” and he has quite rightfully been pilloried for that expression of (literally )blind loyalty. It is certainly not an example him being quick on his feet in a tight spot although it is evidence of a certain amount internal honesty. Now with the utter decimation of the Labor party in very stark prospect there are those who rate him as a potential leader :
My conversion to the Shorten cause occurred when I was invited to listen to a group of aspiring politicians who had just returned from a study tour of Israel. I was open-mouthed that he had grasped the complexities of the conflict so quickly. It was incredible for a newcomer to the subject. A year later I dined with him in Canberra when he was the new member for Maribyrnong. He rose quickly to become Minister for Financial Services and Superannuation. At age 45 he is perfect to lead Labor in its fightback. He has the intelligence, ideas, passion, charisma and drive to inspire Australians to once again put their faith in Labor.
Looking at Shorten’s more recent media appearances we don’t see a man with leadership potential what we see is a man on the verge of utter despair. he certainly isn’t a happy camper:
He may well be what Labor will needs as a leader after the rout but I really don’t think that he is silly enough to displace Gillard in the big chair before the election. He may be depressed(who could blame him for that?) but I don’t think that he is utterly bonkers or at all politically suicidal. Gillard and Swan will still be at the wheel when the Labor ship runs aground in September and they can go down with ship while the survivors will most likely fit into just one life boat (with space to spare) Shorten may or may not be one of them if he is then he might get the toxic tumbler of the federal leadership. Chances are though that his current depression will not be buoyed by winning that significant office in a vote from his fellow survivors. It will be a very long haul back into contention but who else is there to rebuild the Labor party? If he holds his seat Rudd may certainly want the job but I very much doubt that he would be the choice of the other survivors who will certainly remember his previous leadership and doubt that he has changed enough to justify another go. So it may be Shorten who has to put on a brave face as leader of the opposition after September but I just can’t see him being able to shake his obvious depression to be at all effective in that role no matter how many happy pills he might take.