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Jo Chandler’s religious revival meeting, now sing a Green hallelujah!!!

I have spent a lifetime opposing the excesses of the overtly religious, and at the same time I find the nature of belief just utterly fascinating. In my younger days it was discussing Catholicism in particular and Christianity in general that amused me but now I feel a certain ambivalence about faiths inspired by the teachings of Jesus on the understanding that, for the most part, the faith has some good things to offer human society.

I am far less sanguine about the followers of the AGW religion however, especially about the way that they claim a “scientific” underpinning for their dogma. So today I look at the latest revival meeting promo from the (new) Age’s latest Profit of the Green faith Jo Chandler and for your reading pleasure I translate the text into the sort of religious rhetoric that we are a little more  familiar with:

In little remote scientific communities like the Australian Antarctic Division’s Casey Station, on the East Antarctic coast, a roar from the ice might briefly interrupt the labour or conversation of the scientists and tradesfolk who are resident there, working on some aspect of deciphering the climate story. For those lucky enough to be among them, to hear it, it sends a shiver of humility through your bones. You are, after all, at the mercy of this grumbling giant. The cryosphere speaks rarely but emphatically.

O great goddess we are but your humble servants, we send our priestly  emissaries  into the cold wilderness so that they may better know the wonders of your divine being…

By definition, the cryosphere is that part of the planet which is covered in white – the ice sheets of the poles, the fields of pack ice, the glaciers, the frozen lakes and snowfields. Scientists will also tell you that it is the most confounding player in the climate puzzle.

Glaciologists and climate modellers are in a race to penetrate the secrets of the dazzling ice, to anticipate what warming will do to the hidden dynamics of the great ice sheets of the Arctic and the Antarctic. The largest unknown in the myriad projections of sea-level rise over the next century is the potential for rapid collapse of ice sheets.

They use the holy tools to seek out the nature of your divinity so that they may better understand the nature of the apocalypse that we are certain is coming…

In East Antarctica over the past three summers, a team of Australian, American, British and French glaciologists have flown thousands of kilometres surveying the continent aboard an aircraft fitted with specialist radar instruments capable of seeing deep inside and beneath the ancient ice. They are trying to map the shape and contours of the underlying bedrock. This information is critical to figuring out how warming will impact on the speed and flow of glaciers.

We shall not even dare to believe that each year brings more ice to the Antarctic….

It is one narrative amongst dozens of similar stories of field science, chapters in the great, imperative news issue of our era. This is a story which would seem to have all the ingredients of an electrifying piece of journalism – adventure, adrenaline, adversity, great pictures, and the stakes could not be higher.

I give thanks that in my quest to understand the Goddess that I have had a “girls own adventure

Antarctica and Greenland hold enough ice to raise global sea levels by some 70 metres, and the deep time geological record tells us that collapses of the ice sheets in history – in response to natural climatic triggers like volcanic eruptions or shifts in the Earth’s orbit – have caused sea level shifts of up to 20 metres over periods as brief as half a century. How they might respond to the trigger of human-induced greenhouse warming will now determine high tide on every coast of every nation.

Repent now or feel the wrath of the goddess !!!

The information collected from the ICECAP (Investigating the Cryospheric Evolution of the Central Antarctic Plate) survey flights is one piece of the puzzle. It will then be considered alongside the reams of analysis of the latest satellite data. All this is crunched through the merciless process of peer review before finding its way into publication in a scientific journal, after which it is exposed to broader debate and interrogation.

Blessed are the priests  who are writing the liturgy and that if we poor unwashed would just accept the words of the Profits then we can all be saved!

Give me a hallelujah!!!

In the journal pages research teams state their arguments and expose their methodology in the amphitheatre of the scientific literature, the archive of 350 years of investigative endeavour, and wait to see what happens next. Time and the next study might validate them; it might over-rule them. This is not the ping-pong of obscure matters, it is the most important conversation on the planet. And yet much of it is invisible.

We all know how keen the faithful are to use the odd trick to spread the word and long may they do so!!

Raise your voices to Gaia children!

If you rely on traditional mass media for your news – the morning paper, the evening news, the midday headlines – you will likely have little sense of the dimensions of the cryosphere story or any of the other critical narratives within the climate science discussion, like the vanishing of biodiversity, or the change in the chemistry of the oceans known as “the other CO2 problem”, ocean acidification. (If you are motivated and invested enough to use the internet and new media to follow the science you have the opportunity to be better informed, although human inclination will likely sequester you in the tent which supports your beliefs.)

Now don’t you be deceived by reading the unapproved sources and texts! there is but one truth and we are its Profits!

Can I hear you denounce Satan’s servants who dare to sow the seeds of doubt into the minds of the faithful, the servants of Satan are everywhere! So do not stray  from the one true path.

Give me another hallelujah!!!

A headline here or there might suddenly emerge, inspired by some new piece of research. It might catch your eye by declaring something alarming. But read on, and will likely be answered within 500 words of newsprint, or a 30-second broadcast grab, by a contrary voice attached to vague but reassuringly scientific credentials insinuating that it’s really nothing to worry about.

Be  well aware that the tongue of Satan is talented at deception and he may well use the language of the faithful to fool you into the morass of doubt , but hold strong to your faith in the face of such slick adversity!!!

Do I hear an “out with Satan?” Praise Gaia!!

At every level, as in so many areas of evolving climate science, shifts in the ice mass balance, in the speed of the flow of glaciers, represent a deeply complex story. It is a live, dynamic frontier of scientific argument. It is steeped in caveats and questions, every statement accompanied by carefully calculated equations of probability and possibility.

The path is hard  and the journey is long my brethren but have faith in the priests of our glorious faith that we can make simple that which is  so complex and we can give you answers where none currently exist because we have the insight of the Goddess to draw upon.

Praise the Goddess!!!!

There is little scope for such equivocation within the news agenda; little room to accommodate all those baffling qualifiers within the shrinking editorial space of newspapers particularly. Editors, and readers, insist on certainty, on brevity. They are also inclined to controversy, confrontation, provocation and entertainment. Science which does not meet these criteria, for all its rigour and merit, misses out.

Be you not deceived by false prophets who read the holy scripture in a manner unapproved by the goddess or her high priests. Those false prophets  dare to describe the divine posterior as if her vestments are but an illusion, when we all know that they are made of the finest organic fibres.

Add to this the wild, unscientific prevailing winds which determine the news agenda of any particular day. Whether a big science story makes the cut or not might be determined by the outcome of a particularly exciting football match, the whims and inclinations of gatekeeper duty editors; on who died that day, who got married, who was in court and on what charges.

Only those anointed in the name of the Goddess should be believed and beware of anything that claims to be more important than the Message of the Goddess.

Now give me another hallelujah!

An important scientific discovery may be obscured because it emerges on a day when other events dominate the headlines. A less significant piece of work will make the front page because it lands on a slow news day, because it supports broader political agendas, or simply because it is assessed as having more value because it swims against the prevailing tide of grim news and might make us all feel a little safer.

Let not the worries of this world stand in the way of you doing the bidding of the goddess and let nothing stray you from the path of righteousness !

The late Professor Stephen Schneider – a leading American climatologist and veteran scientific street-fighter – called these paradigms “mediarology”. The science of journalism, he and his peers lamented, tends to create strange distortions in climate science, with orthodox research losing much in translation.

It is a deep shame that so many in the once blessed profession of the journal have strayed from the path and that they dare to pervert the one true faith.

Scientists, he argued, are not like opponents in a court room or a parliament – they don’t assemble to vigorously fight two polar opposite ends of an argument. When questioned, they will more likely seek to canvass “a spectrum of potential outcomes, which are often accompanied by a history of scientific assessment of the relative credibility of each possibility”. Try selling that to an editor, in 500 words or less.

Verily the laity of the journal know not the proper way to discover the truth of the liturgy and it is only those wearing the blessed white coats that can lead us to salvation.

Let me hear you Praise the Goddess with a truly rousing Hallelujah!!!

Journalists are reared in a culture which instructs them to get “both sides” of a story – a fine model where two sides of equal weight and gravitas are pitched at one another. But the task becomes a formidable juggling act where an issue is multi-faceted or heavily skewed. For instance, where 97 out of 100 scientists hold one position, and three say something else – proportions which reflect the positions of active, publishing climate scientists on the question of human-induced warming – is a 50-50 balance of views fair play, or is it a distortion?

The forces of Satan would have you believe that the blessed consensus of the anointed ones has no standing but we true believers know that when we all sing with one voice that the song we sing must be pleasing to the Goddess.

Schneider argued journalists needed to replace knee-jerk models of balance with a more accurate, fairer doctrine of perspective, one which communicated not only the range of opinion, but the relative credibility of each opinion within the scientific community.

We need to ensure that those who walk the path of the blessed Goddess are not questioned by the foul minions of doubt

Journalists, scientists and the public are in a period of transition, one where the implications for our lifestyles and our economy means we need – as a matter of urgency – to learn to reflect on how we communicate and hear one another. One where we need to apply more sophisticated tests of rigour to the information which is brought to us. One where we all learn to speak and understand the language of science – of credibility and caveats, the plus and minus of uncertainty and probability.

Only when you have accepted the goddess as your personal saviour will you truly understand the need for the holy tithe that the doubters would deny our self righteous leaders and Profits

In going into the field to join scientists and research the stories within my book, Feeling The Heat, my objective was to try to contribute to shifting the conversation on climate to a new paradigm. I set out to employ long-form narrative journalism to take people inside the scientific story, to feel the conditions and meet the people at the front line, to have them explain their processes, their theories, their insights, even their fears. I wanted to populate the climate narrative with real humans, as it is the most deeply challenging of human stories.

Verily I have made pilgrimages to the far places of the earthwhich hold the keys to our earthly salvation and I have discovered that only by paying due deference to those learned priests of the one true faith that I have been saved. But salvation is something to share so I ask you to dig deep and buy my holy book, so that my ministry may be fruitful and so that I can minister in all of the unholy holiday resorts and spread the name of the Goddess with pride.

The climate discussion – in parliaments, in policy, in pubs, schools, shops, street corners and in the Twitterverse – has barely begun. It will be a deeply wearisome, exhausting, exasperating conversation if it remains mired in tired, contrived news structures; round and round we will go, condemned to the eternal groundhog day argument – “is it real?”.

It is cold comfort to reflect that if the cryosphere indeed has something powerfully contradictory to say, ultimately it will make itself heard.

Once again I must remind you that the fight against Satan will be long and hard fought and we must not let those merchants of doubt distract us form the one true path. Otherwise the wrath of the Goddess will be visited upon us all!

Praise the Goddess!!!

To celebrate the recent launch of Jo Chandler’s book Feeling the Heat and to promote discussion about climate change issues, The Age will host a forum at Media House tonight at 6pm to discuss the reporting of climate change. The speakers are Professor David Karoly of Melbourne University, Professor Will Steffen of the Climate Commission and Jo Chandler. It will be moderated by Age environment reporter Adam Morton.

Verily I offer to you all a welcome to our revival meeting where you can hear the wisdom of some most notable Profits of the faith, oh and don’t forget that you can buy copies of my holy book

Amen and  for the Goddess a final Hallelujah !!!

all quotes from here :
Cheers Comrades

The Chaser boys chastened

There are times that I have found the Chaser boys very funny, but like all of those who do satire their shtick is just not always funny I am rather amused though by the developing outrage from the usual suspects that Clarence house should dare to say that they will not allow any footage of the wedding to be used by comedians or satirists.

click for source

Personally I think that its is in extremely poor taste to take the piss out of anyone’s wedding be they the most lowly street people  to the likes William and Kate everyone deserves to be treated with respect on the day that they make one of our most solemn commitments. If the Chaser boys want to take the piss then they are free to stage a re-enactment of the event but to expect the use of the official footage just so that they can mock the event is seriously misconceived. I would love to know if the chaser boys would be happy to have their own wedding video subjected to the sort of mocking commentary that they were planning for the Royal wedding? No? well if its good enough for ordinary people not to have their wedding mocked then it should be good enough not to mock a Royal wedding.

Cheers Comrades

Is Good

Cheers Comrades

Some wry from Mr Fry

I follow Stephen Fry on twitter and I find him a  funny and  rather  wry observer of humanity but I am also very well aware that he is a satirist and a humorist. So when he says something candid like this:

 

Stephen Fry

STEPHEN Fry has enraged feminists with a bizarre outburst in which he claimed that women are incapable of enjoying sexual intercourse.

The openly homosexual broadcaster said it was clear that women had no interest in sex from the fact that they do not go out seeking casual encounters in graveyards or on Hampstead Heath. He claimed women only go to bed with men ”because sex is the price they are willing to pay for a relationship”.

The 53-year-old, who hosts the quiz show QI on the ABC, launched the tirade in an interview in the November issue of Attitude magazine. He said: ”If women liked sex as much as men, there would be straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas. Women would go and hang around in churchyards thinking: ‘God, I’ve got to get my f—— rocks off’, or they’d go to Hampstead Heath and meet strangers to shag behind a bush.

”It doesn’t happen. Why? Because the only women you can have sex with like that wish to be paid for it. Of course, a lot of women will deny this and say, ‘Oh no, but I love sex, I love it’. But do they go around having it the way that gay men do?”

 

Personally I see no virtue in the Gay “cruising” culture and as much as I like sex (with women) the thought of anonymous encounters in parks or any other venue does nothing whatsoever for me so I am more than happy that there is no big heterosexual Cruising scene. I find it easy to appreciate what he is saying has some truth because there is no denying that the nature of male and female sexuality is different, there is a biological purpose to that difference. The number of feminists and girly men who have jumped on the PC bandwagon to denounce Fry tells me that they just don’t get the concept of free speech or appreciate some wry from Mr Fry.

Cheers Comrades

Proof that vegetarians are evil and “International eat a vegetarian day”

Mine is just a modern day modest proposal , click the picture for one prepared earlier

I have said before  at this blog that vegetarians are evil, they want to pretend that there is something wrong with eating the flesh of animals but I say if we were not meant to eat animals then why are they made out of such  delicious meat?

What it boils down to is that there are some people who are  sanctimonious twits who not only decide that they want to live on lentils and beans but that the rest of us should be forced to do likewise. Now it seems that they have held out the possibility of eating the flesh of that most ubiquitous animal  on the planet with out ever intending to deliver:

VEGETARIAN activists in Germany’s Berlin have caused a stir with an advertising campaign for a new restaurant seeking human meat “donors” and “open-minded” surgeons.

“The Vegetarian Federation wanted with this striking human meat campaign to draw attention to the millions of people who suffer from the consumption of meat,” it said overnight after revealing the hoax.

When it comes to meat animals  herbivores tend to have the best tasting flesh so perhaps the most apt justice for the perpetrators of this outrage is that we carnivores should consider taking some inspiration from the so called “joke”and have  an “International eat a vegetarian day” with the right rituals and cleansing ceremonies I am sure that we can render even the most evil vegetarian fit for consumption, heck we can even arrange for them to be  Halal or Kosher because humane killing is just not warranted when it comes to dealing with a true evil like vegetarianism …

We could even take inspiration from the live cattle trade and export live vegetarians to places of hunger and need like Pakistan where they could do something more than moan about climate change and the evils of western society they could literally feed the hungry. One vegetarian, properly prepared  could feed many starving villagers if we also throw in some of rice and a few spices .

I’m sure that Socky would approve

Cheers Comrades

Half a million page views at the Sandpit

I know that statistical miles stones are really meaningless but that does not stop you feeling pretty good when you reach them. Well if you keep an eye on the hit counter at the bottom of the page some time today I expect that you will see the counter tick over t0 the magical “500,000” mark . That is pretty good for a modest blog written as a bit of fun .

Thanks very much to all of those who take the time to read what I and my friends put up  here and a special thanks to all of those who take the time to comment and argue with what is on this web-page. Commentary and argument is the life blood of blogging and long may it keep pumping at the Sandpit.

Cheers Comrades

WTF is this? A blog about having a Groupshit in a toilet?

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Guest post by SockPuppet

I have to bring to youse attention the ermergerance this week of a new entrance into the ozblogofsfere that has some very shady and seemy characters and that what stinks a lot on account it’s about going to the toilet as the masthead and twitter logo here confurms.

twittercon_biggerThem logos belong on toilet doors and so does, well, most of what’s written on this new vershin of Grods reheated as a souffle but what is really toliet humour that ain’t even clever and not even funny.

Toilet1Theys talking aboout drugs, poofs, vampires, Willie Nelson and some tool in a bottle. WTF? I am next to beside myself with bemoosement and bewildermint cos ain’t nuthing funny here so far and no larfs to be had and that stoned out drug adder bloke writes stuff what makes me wanna spew. Even my little mate who looks like Dermie is off the boil and seems to have lost his mojo. (a MojO is what you got when you can write like me)

I think Scooter Boy Ridge & Can’t Rogerher (ha, ha, that’s my clever cover for Scott & Ant) have really f*cked up with this one. Flush it boyos before it groupstinks out the whole Intermints. As Rex Hunt says if it smells like a fish and tastes like a vaginer … It’s shitenhauser!!!

SockPuppet

sockpuppet2

(Footnotes & pS: This is just my opinionion and not neccessary the onion of the owner of Casa de Hall so if the Scooter Boy and the Can’t wantsa sue some indervidewal for libralling youse send all your lawyer’s rits to SockPuppet c/- the post office in South Cranbourne Vic and if I am ever out that way – I never beren there before – I will pick them up)

Lets speculate

It has been a source of great amusement to me that the Pure Poison boys have been making such a dogs breakfast of going “big time” with their Crikey blog and now it has been Jeremy’s turn to have an online version of foot in mouth disease. Two days ago I emailed Jeremy to ask him what he thought about the Matthew Johns scandal and the essence of his reply was that he did not care about the story at all, because he does not follow rugby, Well that is fair enough he is a Melbourne lad after all and they follow a different football faith down there. Then Andrew Bolt wrote about it so suddenly my learned friend was interested and he wrote a short post at his personal blog but the keyboard had hardly cooled when he wrote a longer piece for Pure Poison but when you check the link you will find a new version and if you want to see the original text check out these screenshots from the Pure poison feed  from Blogotariat :

The reason you have to do this is quite simply because the Pure poison boys have, once again, stuffed up on some journalistic essentials, namely that any author should be very careful indeed when it comes to alleging criminality.

Scott Bridges “explains” why the post went off-line and is now “revised” with this comment:

Scott Bridges

Posted May 15, 2009 at 4:51 pm | Permalink

Some commenters have noted (in still-moderated comments) that this post was taken offline for a period of time. Alterations have been made to this post and no comment or speculation about the changes made or the reasons behind those changes will be published.

Thanks for your understanding on this matter.

Well the Pee Pee boys  may want to quietly forget this major faux pas  but those of us who find their antics so amusing can speculate to our hearts content. To make such speculation I have copied the post in question here and worked out just where changes have been made and you will find below that I have shown those changes in red .

PeePee1


Consent is not a “furphy”, Andrew

Regarding the NRL/Matthew Johns scandal, Andrew Bolt knows who to blame:

If Johns is sacked, why not Lumby?

Catherine Lumby’s crime offence?

[…]#

That’s not what he’s learned at all. Well – he’s learned that consent doesn’t trump the commercial interests of major entertainment corporations. He’s learned that he’d better stick to their arbitrary version of public “morality” – in this case, that group sex is WRONG BY DEFINITION – if he wants to keep those jobs. And if Lumby were his PR adviser, and had told him that Channel Nine wouldn’t mind if he were revealed to have engaged in group sex, then she’d certainly deserve to be sacked for that – clearly she’d have been astoundingly wrong.

But the main thing Johns is in trouble for is allegedly NOT following Lumby’s subsequent advice, that “informed consent” is vital.It’s that there’s an open question as to whether he stood by as the girl was effectively raped by the other team mates.It’s the allegation – which may be untrue* – that he stood by as a girl was effectively raped (again, only an allegation) by his team mates.

Because – and it staggers me that a prominent newspaper columnist doesn’t seem to get this – consenting to sex with two men does not equal consenting to sex with any man who happens to walk into the room. And standing by while a woman is raped would itself be a crime. (If that was what in fact happened, in respect of which all we know is that the NZ police have investigated those allegations and decided not to prosecute.)

It shouldn’t, in 2009, be all that difficult for any functioning adult to understand.

But Bolt thinks{…)#

Now, responses to this incident have run the gamut from the misogynist “if she said yes to two she said yes to all” to the puritan “group sex is wrong and should be punished”. Bolt’s attempt to blame it all on his cultural war opponents lurches awkwardly from one extreme to the other – if you were to try to tie it together, the only sense you could make is that he blames all participants for falling short of his personal moral code, and thinks that the harm described – the harm of a rape – is simply the consequence of such a failure. He wants to blame Lumby’s focus on consent for an incident that is claimed by the woman now not to have been consensual – for the players she advised allegedly NO FOLLOWING HER ADVICE. following her advice.


[…]#


*We have no idea what occurred on that night, and are not alleging anything. We are commenting on the general issues raised by the subsequent discussion. Mr Johns has not been charged with any offence, and the allegations against him that are being widely discussed in the national media are just that – allegations. We know nothing more on the specific incident that prompted the debate than that.

Update##

There have been some minor changes made to this post to make the above note doubly clear. Obviously, this post is about the general issue, not the specific incident in question. It is responding to Andrew Bolt’s thoroughly disturbing suggestion that consent is merely a “furphy” – and his ridiculous attempt to use the incident to try to get a “culture war” opponent sacked.

Of course the question that I would love to have answered is who complained?

Was It Lumby?

Was It Matthew Johns?

Was it someone from the NRL?

Hmm so much remains unanswered and somehow I doubt that the Pee Pee Boys will be forthcoming with any answers however  the speculation has to be how long will it be before Crikey pull the plug on this troop of bumble headed ideologues?

Cheers Comrades

🙂

#Update

The sections that are apparantly unchanged have been edited down to shorten this post please refer to the blogatarit screenshots. Because belive it or not Jeremy is throwing a hissy fit in the comments and elsewhere , about copyright, looks like its “cat pictures” all over again with threats  ect… 🙄

## JF Beck points out the latest  update to the post in question that I have added to my quote above, me thinks that the Pee Pee boys are not thinking straight my guess is that they will be on the piss drowning their sorrows and pretending that they are kings of the universe, until the rattle of the trains brings them back to earth.

Update 2

Another piece of the puzzle comes via a report in The Herald Sun which has the builder of the motel room in question saying that a key part of “Clare’s” story is physically impossible :

She claims that on the following night, Cronulla players climbed in through the bathroom window of Room 15, where she was having sex with Johns and Brett Firman.

Mr Butterfield, whose son built the motel-style unit, said that was not possible.

“There’s no way you can get through the window,” he said.

(Source)

As I see it this casts a great deal of doubt on other claims from “Clare” is she now going to suggest that the players teleporting into the room?

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