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A lovely bit of satire from Anthony Ackroyd
When I need a laugh there is nothing more Jolly than checking out the “environment” section of the Guardian where you can be sure to fine the latest in environmental Corporal Jones (Vale, Clive Dunn) impersonations:
Now there are a couple of really major and naive assumptions in this rather silly piece not the least of which is the fact that the judiciary does not have the powers imagined by the author in the first place, secondly even if they did getting members of the legal profession to all agree about something is rather like herding cats (strangely quite few lawyers are cat lovers) thirdly the argument is profoundly undemocratic and it denies the people the right to chose their own governments and to have those governments do their bidding. Finally it reveals that inner totalitarian that seems to live within the heart of every Greens supporter. Yep its the perfect pick me up for a conservative on this bright and sunny November morning.
- Dad’s Army actor Clive Dunn dies (bbc.co.uk)
The misplaced wedding bouquet blues, or our learned friend keeps flogging that poor dead gay marriage nag
What is it about Gay marriage that so rings the bell of our learned friend?
The nub of the issue that drives him to write post after post about it?
It can’t be anything practical because one of the few things that Brother Number One did while in office, that I fully endorse, was to remove 180 or so instances where federal law discriminates against same sex couples. Perhaps its the rather desperate prospects for the Labor governemnt and the inability of the Greens to forceto move on the issue no matter how close such a change is to the heart of .
So having worn out all of his arguments based upon any sort of logic he resorts to a sort of dark sarcasm which of course in his usual style does not quite hit its mark:
You would have thought that a Sensitive New Age Lefty would think twice about using the quite sweet story of two people in their twilight years finding love for his own political agenda, Ah no, not our Jezza, he will grind the bones of any story if it helps further the cause of same sex marriage.
There is an irony here though insofar as our learned friend has been twice married and has not as yet produced any offspring (well some of us should be thankful for that 😉 )so were his sarcastic scenario to be real he himself would be denied the joys of state sanctioned nuptials, maybe that is why he feels such empathy for those who now can dare to speak the name of their love?
- Archbishop warns clergy gay marriage is a ‘radical step’ (independent.co.uk)
- ‘Gay marriage is madness’: Catholic cardinal slams government’s plans for same-sex weddings (mirror.co.uk)
- Gay marriage is now the issue through which the elite advertises its superiority over the redneck masses (blogs.telegraph.co.uk)
- Kirk Cameron Tells Piers Morgan Homosexuality is ‘Unnatural,’ ‘Destructive’ (inquisitr.com)
- Cardinal Keith O’Brien: Same Sex Marriage Is A Grotesque Subversion, A Great Wrong! (deaconjohnspace.wordpress.com)
Just for a change of pace I am today going to do something rather light-hearted, talking about the movie I went to see with my daughter on Monday. We went to see “Johnny English” and it was a hoot from start to finish! with some very good gags that were not laboured or overdone as the Americans are so fond of doing. Top marks to Rowan Atkinson for his portrayal of the main character who he has endowed with just the right mixture of ineptitude, arrogance, good intentions, and an amazingly lack of enough self-awareness that would make his failings stop him romping home to save the day gee that sort of reminds me of someone else whose name eludes me at present…
Anyway we loved the film and had a great day out so dear readers what recent films have rung your bells?
Those of you who have ever taken the time to read those throwaway suburban papers will realise that most of the articles are in fact just text adverts for the people who have paid for display ads in that edition. Some local rags are entirely up front about it, Heck I’ve even written a few blurbs when we have taken out advertising ourselves. So for the elucidation of the Sandpit’s readers I will translate the text of this advertorial for a contentious book:
SHE has been copping a daily beating from journalists, police and the public but Christine Nixon was finally among friends at the launch of her autobiography, Fair Cop.
The sisterhood does not care that many people die on that black Saturday as it comes together to celebrate a wonderful example of excuse making and blame shifting.
The former police chief got a standing ovation as she took the lectern at the Hotel Windsor yesterday.
The same crowd who loved David Hicks’ book just happened to be in town so of course they cheered for Nixon, Chandler and Gillard.
Prime Minister Julia Gillard sidestepped the controversy about Ms Nixon’s career as she launched the book, which was co-written by Age journalist Jo Chandler, saying she was ”not here today to adjudicate” on Ms Nixon’s decisions on Black Saturday.
The Prime Minister was delighted to be on the stage with two women who are probably loathed as much as she is and she is very fond of the old saying “Judge not lest ye be judged” when it comes to Nixon’s Black Saturday performance.
”I am here because Christine Nixon is a high-achieving Australian whose long journey of public service deserves our attention and regard,” Ms Gillard said.
“I am here to see how well getting a journalistic hack to rewrite history to make the people forget my bad judgement and poor decisions might work ” Ms Gillard said.
But she did say that Black Saturday would be ”a day Christine will reflect on for the rest of her life”.
That mushroom risotto will be repeating on Christine Nixon for the rest of her life.
The Prime Minister then declared Top Cop officially launched, bungling the book’s title.
True to form the Prime Minister stuffed up the books title when she officially launched it.
It was left to the publisher, Louise Adler of Melbourne University Press, to take on Ms Nixon’s foes in the media and the police in a firebrand speech.
Desperate to recoup the publishers costs, Louise Adler of Melbourne University Press, worked hard to spin Nixon’s sorry history as something positive.
”She took on a coalition of hardcore recidivist police resistant to change, opportunistic politicians adept at the dog whistle and a tabloid media both stoking and profiting from resentment and ignorance,” Ms Adler said. ”What better target could that nasty coalition have than a woman intent on cultural change at the helm of a largely macho organisation?”
Ms Nixon is not really bad, she is just a victim of all of these nasty men who were just out to get her because she is a woman with a few extra kilos to carry around and her problems are all a result of the resistance of the evil patriarchy.
Ms Adler also revealed that a Herald Sun reporter had called her during a news conference last Friday, evidently by mistake, and left on her voicemail a discussion about how to structure a story on Ms Nixon and her book.
Ms Adler also
revealed alleged that a Herald Sun reporter had called her during a news conference last Friday, evidently by mistake, and left on her voicemail a discussion about how to structure a story on Ms Nixon and her book. Thus alluding to the hack gate scandal in the UK
It was ”a small insight into how easily and insouciantly truth is manufactured and reputations are taken apart,” Ms Adler said.
I know that among my friends here if I suggest that the MURDOCH EVIL EMPIRE is behind the trashing of this righteous Sista’s name I will get applause.
Labor Party elders Joan Kirner, Barry Jones and Mary Delahunty were there, as were several who lived through the Black Saturday fires.
The Party faithful were in attendance to help Nixon to play her victim card to perfection and they even managed to get some Black Saturday victims to attend even though most are unimpressed with Nixon
Former Victorian premier Ms Kirner – who knows a few things about being a woman in power and being picked on by the media – said Ms Nixon was ”fair game” when she was in power, but that the recent pursuit of her was ”bullying”, not reporting.
Joan “Im a victim of the nasty MURDOCH EVIL EMPIRE too” Kirner said that Nixon should not be criticised just because she is trying to promote her self serving book on any media outlet that will give her air time and that they should just get with the program to promote a book from a righteous member of the sistahood.
”In the book she named bullies and this is what I think the Herald Sun approach has been about since she left public life,” Ms Kirner said.
In the book she has a big sook about the MURDOCH EVIL EMPIRE who just hate the idea of a sista making herself look good in print.
Later, Ms Nixon suggested people ought to ”move on” from their anger over her decision to leave her post for a pub dinner on Black Saturday.
Later Nixon was suggesting the great mushroom risotto and saying that after that they should “move on ” to a cold desert when people are dying on a Black Saturday.
I’ll let you all in on a little secret comrades, my vision on the political maelstrom that we comment on from our individual perspectives here at the Sandpit is that it is all just one big soap opera and like soap operas we have a number of different story arcs that intersect and weave in and out of each other. Some times there are moments of high drama, at others there are the political romances, there is love, hate, manipulation and behind the scenes machinations enough to keep fans like us endlessly arguing about the true meaning of every plot point and new moment of intrigue. But there is also little asides that just give us a damn good laugh.
Frankly the recent attempts by Julia Gillard to sell her toxic Carbon Tax have had more than a dash of the Greek tragedy about them as she tries to convince a cynical nation that this piece of, ah- hem, “Creative accounting” will bring about a great and grand “clean energy future ” when it just looks like a dogs breakfast with a sweet sauce to disguise the fact that it has no nutritional content all. Like all good soaps our political drama has some, err, “colourful”. minor characters which is one of the things that Ray and I have been having a bit of fun with, hence our various pieces about Christine Nixon recently. If ever a woman was the perfect comic bit player in a larger drama it is Nixon. The script writers could not draw a more convincing caricature of an idealogical leftist if they tried and her whining promotional efforts for the book that she has written with Jo Chandler trying to disguise her utter incompetence on that fateful Saturday is quite rightly being seen as the biggest joke of this political season:
With Jo Chandler taking on the role of Stan to Nixon’s Oliver at tomorrow’s Book launch we should all look forward to a few more laughs as the members of the sisterhood try their darnedest to pretend that any criticism of Nixon’s incompetence is all about sexism, fatism, Rangaism, or any other ism that can be imagined except that one that really matters: competentism and Nixon’s obvious lack in that department, ah well we don’t expect the comedy arc to be serious now do we?