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(by SockPuppet ~ working for the dole @ Chez Hall)
Prime Minister Tony Abbott is not a brain surgeon or Einstein but he is still smart too and he has said it is not unreasonable to ask job seekers to make 40 job applications a month despite complaints from business that it would increase red tape and be a burden on businesses:
”What we want is job seekers who are active, not passive,” Mr Abbott told 2UE radio.
”It is not an unreasonable expectation or aspiration that we have … we want to ensure that people on unemployment benefits really are serious in looking for work, but we don’t want to unnecessarily burden small business,” he said.
Now I am not good at arithmetic but I have a brother who has a calculator he brought at Woolies for $5 (see
So I asked him to run some numbers and he says it tells this:
550,000 dole bludgers X 40 = 22 million mostly useless job applications per month
22 million X 12 = 264 million (mostly useless) job applications per year
And I am not Einstein either but I reckon there are nuthing like 264 MILLION jobs being offered in Australia every year.
Not even close.
My brother says its probably less than HALF A MILLION and that his Woolies $5 calculator says:
264 million divided by halfa million = 528 applications per job
I will say it again:
Tony Abbotts plan means businesses will get an average of 528 applications for every job.
Or even more because most dole bludgers will not be applying for top paying jobs like:
- CEO , Rocket Scientist, Brain Surgeon, Computer Genius, Nuclear Physicist, Head Chef at the Hilton, Malaysian Airlines Pilot
Or even not-so-top-paying specialist jobs like:
- Train Driver, Lion Tamer, Teacher, Social Media Expert, Senior Writer @ The Age, Lawyer, Adventure Activities Instructor
No, most dole bludgers would be looking at low-paid and low-skilled jobs like:
- Laborer, Factory Hand, Clerk, Shop Assistant, Waiter, Council Worker, Vic Roads Sign Holder
And this means most jobs could get up to 1000 applications.
And that is alot of work and might even create morejobs just to sort out the duds from the real and the shit from the clay sorta thing.
Is that Tonys plan? Create a whole new type of job called:
Job Application Shit Sifter
Or does as I think Tony Abbott needs a $5 calculator just to bring him up to speed?
He can borrow my brothers.
by SockPuppet ~ holding it up at Chez Hall
Our PM-in-waiting Tony Joe (White*) Hockey is smart – well he wrote his own book dinee? – but missed his chance to really sell the $7 medical co-payment (aka a tax on sickness) last May when he said “It’s only the cost of two middies of beer”.
What he shoulda have said was this:
“It’s only the price of two erections”
You see with the price of Viagra falling in mid-May from $65 for a bottle of 4 blue hard-on pills to $15, the cost of getting a longlasting fat is now only $3.75:
The little blue pill that changed many people’s lives is about to enter a rapid new growth phase, with the price of Viagra falling to less than
a cup of coffeethe medical co-payment.
When Pfizer’s patent for Viagra ran out in mid-May, the company offered pharmacies huge reductions on their product, hoping to carve out some of the new cheap market before generic brands took over. The huge discount brand, Chemist Warehouse was the first to react, offering Viagra at $15 for 4 of the 100 mg dose – the active ingredient is called Sildenafil. The same packet had been selling for $65-$85.
That is very good news indeed but I think I will wait for the other hard-dick-enhancing drug to come down in price too before I try one on:
How the big price drop will affect Viagra’s main competitor, the Eli Lilly drug Cialis is still unclear. Cialis hit the Australian market five years after Viagra’s launch in 1998 but quickly caught up due to its promise of action for “le weekend” – up to 36 hours’ erection boost, unlike Viagra which lasts only a few hours.
Which would mean two Cialis pills would give you a stiff one for 72 hours for only about $7 bucks.
And that’s what I call …. A cheap bar and a 3 day growth
* And to really sell his ‘cheap roots’ message maybe Tony Joe White Hockey shoulda have re-released his famous song about Poking Salad Annie.
Please note that the correct title to the 60s song was actually POKE Salad Annie but was changed to POLK by prudes at the record company.
Anyway this is a great LIVE version of this original blues/soul/roots/Cajun white man doing black man music. Enjoy
by SockPuppet ~ hung like a Puppy
Life can be tough in Tassie for a rough-as-guts 43 yearold single mum of 2 and exMilitary Corporal down on her luck and who hasnot had anyone venture into her map-of-Tasmania-overgrown-bush for more than 11 years (*).
(* see below – her words notmine)
What can she do? How can she get a life and some money letalone a root?
Well she could always turn Leso I suppose but not our Jacqui Lambie.
No Jacqui joins the Clive Palmers Puppy Party of course and gets herself elected to the Senate thats what she does.
And then she goes on some ‘Fun’ radio station in Hobart and lets everyone know shes looking for a guy ….,…
…… a rich guy
….. a “WELL HUNG” rich guy:
newly elected Palmer United Party senator Jacqui Lambie has taken the trend (of hooking up) to a new level by using talkback radio to search for a potential suitor – preferably one “well-hung” and loaded with cash.
Here’s how it went down. Lambie was appearing on Hobart’s Heart 107.3 breakfast show with Kim and Dave.
…. Kim asked Lambie about her bikini line and it was full steam ahead on the Oversharing Express.
“Right now the state I’m in, you’d want to bring out that whipper snipper first,” replied Lambie. “It’s a very scary area to talk about this morning.”
(Whoa – too much information Jacqui but carry on)
…. And then it got better.
Lambie – a mother-of-two who says she has been single for 11 years – outlined what she’s looking for in a man.
“They must have heaps of cash and they’ve got to have a package between their legs,” she said.
“They don’t even need to speak.”
Then Jamie, a 22-year-old listener, rang in to say he’d be happy to go out with the 43-year-old.
… After establishing that Jamie had inherited a “small fortune” and had experience with older women, Lambie inquired: “You don’t have any diseases do you?” (**)
No, Jamie assured her, before adding that he is “hung like a donkey”.
(** And I heard the audio – Lambie also asked Jamie if he was “well hung” before he said “like a donkey”. What a class act. You can listen to it too if you clickon thelink. The one in the words above. Above the quote. Scroll up. Use these ^ at the side of your PC. Or iPhone?)
Insightful commentary coming up:
Look I have nothing against girls chasing a good job.
And a bit of fame.
A lot of cock.
But I reckon if a 43 yearold cougar and single mum wants to root a rich young guy with a “big package between his legs” she shoulda at least shave the bush first don’t you?
I feel sorry for Jamie.
Weve got her for another 6 years youknow?
by SockPuppet ~ an Australian
This is a bloody national disgrace.
Next year is the 100th anniversary of Anzac Day, that day in April 1915 when thousands of underage Aussies (and Kiwis but who counts them?) were sacrificed by the Brits on some godforsaken Middle eastern outpost peninsula of bloody Turkey known as Gallipoli – nowknown as Anzac Cove and a tourist destination and camping resort for Gen Y.
But as Anzac Day falls on a Saturday next year guess what?
The citizens of NSW (and every other State except one!) will be short one public holiday next year: Anzac Day.
Both Anzac Day and Boxing Day fall on a Saturday but only one will be marked by an additional day off.
Unlike other holidays, no additional day is granted for the national day of remembrance in NSW under the Public Holidays Act.
Other states will face a similar issue: only West Australians will get a public holiday on Monday, April 27.
What is going on here?
If we cant get a holiday for the 100th anniversary of Anzac Day what else will be taken away?
Whats next, move the Melbourne Cup to a Saturday and take away that national day of celebrating horses too?
No holiday for Australia Day if that falls on the weekend too? What will the abos have to protest about?
Why not go the whole hog and have no public holiday for Christmas Day if that falls on a Saturday or Sunday too? Who needs one? Go to work!
And Easter: Yeah lets cancel Good Friday & Easter Monday because no one goes to bloody church and besides the Muslims have already taken over (just ask GD).
This is the slippery slope – the taking away of our days off .. but it doesnt end there!
Collingwood & Essendon will have to play there heroic Anzac Day battle on a Saturday and compete with all the other games on that day too. They will lose $millions.
And what will Gen Y do? They cant go to Turkey on the weekend because that is ‘hooking up’ time wasted.
Of course we could all move to Perth, the only State that recognises Anzac Day and gives us a day off.
But where the f*ck is Perth?
And what is there to do there?
Dont think this is a oneoff either folks – in 2016 Anzac Day falls on a Sunday so same deal, no public holiday!
I blame Tony Abbott.
We need an election.
by SockPuppet (proud member of the other half)
I have a different take on this ‘News story of the century’ about 55-year-old Sue Wilkins abusing
a gook an asian girl on a train on the New South Wales Central Coast. Well I have a different take on most things as you might have noticed.
First you should watch the video it is kind of weird and I reckon that this woman was not in a real good place mentally for one reason or another. Apparently shes desperately looking for a job after losing all her money to some Dutch guy on a RSVP dating scam or so she said over at NineMSM but didn’t say at ABC where I have linked to … HERE is where I linked in to the ABC case you want to know.
The video starts just after Sue has allegedly abused some kids for not giving up there seats to her. I dunno about you but when I was a kid I was told we HAD TO give up our seats for older people especially women were not you? I guess that manners and stuff is outa the window now though in this the age of iPhones and hook-ups and instant blowj…. oh, wrong subject (sorry my mind wanders).
Any how the vid starts with the woman talking on her phone to – wait for it – the police to complain that – wait for it again – the kids wont give her a seat. Listen carefully it takes a while to get the gist but that is what she is doing: asking the police to meet her at the next station and arrest these kids for bad manners or something. And shes serious. Seriously stressed I would say.
All the time she is on the phone she is being filmed and doesn’t seem to know it (i did not think you could film people without permission but hey, you know these days we have iPhones and hook-ups and insta-fuc… oh there I go I have wandered off again).
When she sees that shes being filmed is when she loses it and starts abusing the bogan thats filming her. And the asian chick who just happens to be sitting next to the bogan. Note my bold:
“Can’t you get an Aussie girlfriend? You had to get a gook, you sad, poor pathetic man… Is it really that small you can’t get an Aussie girl?”
“What’s wrong with Hong Kong? Why’d you come to this country? This is our country.”
“Oh, look at this bogan here, he’s got a gook. Oh look at it, isn’t it sad that he can’t get a regular girlfriend, he’s got to get an Asian? And she probably thinks he’s rich,”
She also mocks the Asian chick’s voice and accent which you gotta admit is pretty freakin’ funny.
I don’t like what she said but I don’t know if its asbad as some are saying. But I don’t like the attitudes of some of the younger people taunting her either and I actually feel a bit sorry for her. She has just lost the plot I reckon.
Any way that is not my main point. The main point and my TAKE I want to make here is this:
Sue Wilkins has done half the male population a great service.
Sue has pointed out that the half of the male population that has a less-than-average-size-dick (*) can solve there lack of manly prowess by hooking up with Asian chicks.
Asian chicks don’t mind less-than-average-size-dicks on account of their um, receptacles are less than average size too I guess.
So there you have it guys with small dicks no longer need worry.
Just get on Tinder or whatever it is these days and remember to:
(PS: I have not tried an Asian chick myself but I might now get a iPhone and try it … not that I need to)
(* It is a fact – half the male population has a less-than-average-size dick. Think about it)
by SockPuppet ( a try hard blogger that trys)
If anything demonstrates that Aussies have not lost their cultural cringe its this editorial written by Fairfuxed journo Tony Wright about how we always knew Rolf Harris was not quite right, not cool and not great and not really one of us. Read it. It says a lot about us and how we now disown this once-was-an-Aussie-icon.
This is us washing our hands of the guy who put Aus on the world entertainment map one hell of a long time ago. I will make my insiteful comments and summary of this matter at the end of Wrights embarassing wise-in-hindsight piece of cringeworthy crap:
Rolf Harris always ridiculous, really
By TONY WRIGHT
MUCH modern nonsense has been written about Rolf Harris’ role in elevating Australia’s reputation in the world of entertainment and how he was a national treasure before “The Fall”.
Truth is, when he was gathering his peculiar form of fame in the 1960s, he was not much more than an embarrassing curiosity to an Australian generation in search of something approaching cool.
His unchallenging, cloying joviality was mostly popular with parents born even before him, which didn’t help his cause.
He wore a chin-beard from the vanished beatnik era, which didn’t improve things.
He had moved from Perth to England in 1952, aged 22.
He turned his energy to exploiting his short Australian heritage into a British music-hall caricature of itself. Some national treasure!
His big song, Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport, set back the hope of Australian cool about half a century, even though The Beatles sang backing vocals to it during a 1963 concert.
Tie Me Kangaroo Down was an unlikely blend of comical patter pretending to be from the Australian bush, and calypso, music with roots in the Afro-Caribbean population of Trinidad and had morphed into lounge entertainment for the terminally middle-aged.
“Keep me cockatoo cool, Curl” was a humorous enough line, and “Mind me platypus duck, Bill” was clever.
But even in the early ’60s, plenty of us bridled at “Let me Abos go loose, Lou; They’re of no further use, Lou”. The verse was, unsurprisingly, deleted some years later, but Harris didn’t express regret for writing it for another 40 years.
Our TV screens were regularly visited during the ’60s by BBC shows featuring Rolf painting on masonite – something he was talented at – playing his wobble board, and hopping around in his frankly ridiculous guise as “Jake the Peg” with the extra leg, diddle eedle eedle um.
We should have guessed.
Another of his big hits was not much more than syrup: Two Little Boys.
Margaret Thatcher declared it her favourite song. Of course.
The British public, who have always enjoyed syrup and comics like Benny Hill, and had fallen in love with good old Rolf from the colonies because he made them feel better about not emigrating, sent it to No.1 for six weeks.
It took decades for Harris to gain anything faintly resembling cool.
In the early 1990s, he recorded his version of Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven.
The spectacle of a silly old bloke replacing Jimmy Page’s guitar with a wobble board and Robert Plant’s voice with Rolf’s strangled croak was so absurd it was judged brilliant by a generation lost to 1980s spandex-pop.
When it comes down to it, Harris was a song and dance man who lived most of his life in England, painted the Queen and used a confected Australian accent when it suited him.
And he was, if he were to seek old-time Australian vernacular to describe in song the activities for which he will be remembered, a kiddie fiddler.
We were right from the start. The man was never cool at all. He was, and remains, an embarrassing curiosity.
Insiteful comment/criteak starts here:
Look, it is easy to say all this that Wright has said and distance yourself from Dirty Old Rolf by putting down his whole life and claiming he was never ‘one of us’ and ‘we never liked him anyway’ and he was ‘more English than Aussie’ but I ask you this groundbreaking question:
GROUNDBREAKING QUESTION: Why?
Why do we feel the need to disown Rolf now that its been proven he was a groping kiddy fiddler and will probably spend some time (maybe his final years) locked up in the Old Bailey?
Why? Well this is why. I will tell you why. Right now. On the next line. After “Answer”:
GROUNDBREAKING ANSWER: Because we as a nation are not yet fully grown up.
Okay I hear your stunned silences and/or your “Huh?” reactions to my groundbreaking answer so I will explain it to you. I will put it in words that even a child could understand. Its like this:
1. Think of Aus like its a person.
2. A male person.
3. Now think of what makes a male person grown up and mature. A real man.
4. Well there are lots of things that make a male person an adult and a real man and one of them (a big one) is this (see 5) (below)
5. A mature adult MAN – a real MAN – owns up to his mistakes and does not make excuses or pretend what happened was an accident and rewrite history.
You see that is exactly what Wright is doing. He is disowning Harris as an “embarrassing curiosity”, as someone who was not really an Aussie who “lived most of his life in England, painted the Queen and used a confected Australian accent when it suited him”. He is rewriting history and making excuses. He is saying that Rolf Harris was an accident and we are not responsible for foisting this kiddy fiddler on the world.
But Rolf Harris was and still is an Aussie and until about a year or so ago when all this stuff first came out we – that is most Aussies – wore him like a friggin’ badge of honour because even though he was not “cool” (far from it) and even though he lived overseas and even though he was a bit of a dork guess what? He was a huge friggin’ success and we were proud of him. Super proud.
And now we are not proud of him. We are “embarrassed” and we seek to make excuses and disown him. We are not mature to do that. A mature nation would not say what Wright has said (and believe me Wright is reflecting the general attitude here).
No. A mature nation would respond more like this or words to this effect perhaps expanded on but you will get the gist:
Rolf Harris was an Aussie great who has fallen from grace in a bloody big way. We are all shocked and mortified that one of our most treasured Aussie achievers has been shown to have had a real dark side – the darkest of all sides – a person who molested children. A dirty old man. It goes to prove that even (or especially) the greatest achievers among us are usually flawed. Some more than others. None it seems more flawed than Rolf Harris. We will forever hold Rolf’s achievements high and never disown him. We thank him for his boldness and ambitious career that helped put Aussie culture on the world map albeit in a rather jingoistic but nonetheless relevant way. But we can never forget or forgive him for bringing shame on himself. And on us. We are a great nation that has produced many great people and champions in all types of pursuits. Rolf was one of those. A big one. We regret that it turned out as it did.
There I have done it again. I don’t know how I done it (or why) but I reckon no one else is saying what I just wrote – you know …. the truth.
GROW UP AUSTRALIA.