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A return serve of the book

I like a joke as much as the next bloke but I just can’t help thinking that jokes cease to be funny when they are predicated upon cruelty to strangers. , The example of this slapper  who thought that it was a grand joke assault a worker at her local McDonald’s  with a wet tampon.
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Defence lawyer Bernard Bradley, from Bernard Bradley & Associates, told the court it was a “prank gone terribly wrong”.

“(Crimmins) finished work at 12.30am that morning and went out socialising with colleagues,” he said.

“She was intoxicated at the time when the prank was formulated. She doesn’t have any recollection of touching the complainant’s hand but accepts it happened.

“This projectile was wet because it was made wet by some lime cordial.”

Magistrate John Parker said he was “dubious” about the story and questioned where the cordial had come from.

“It was inside a container in the car,” Mr Bradley said.

“I’m informed it was an ordinary mixture of water and cordial to a percentage mix that was usual.”

Sgt Chawner said she could not confirm the fluid was cordial but would accept the plea of guilty on that basis.

Magistrate Parker said it was a “disgusting and abhorrent” act.

“I accept this was a tampon filled with cordial but even on that basis … it was intended for him to believe it was a used tampon which is more serious, in my view, than other assaults,” he said.

“If there was any evidence you had removed the tampon from your own body or used human tissue, you would be going to jail.

“It is still, nevertheless, a disgusting and abhorrent result and I hope you’re thoroughly ashamed of yourself.”

Mr Bradley said his client had lost her job as a result of an earlier news report about the incident.

The Tewantin woman was sentenced to 60 hours of unpaid community service and escaped a conviction.

source

In an age when blood filled syringes are used as weapons in armed robberies body fluids can be considered a most intimidating substance, add to that the fact that to most men have been indoctrinated with the notion that menstruation is a sort of “secret women’s business” and you have the formula for  a victim suffering some serious “fear and loathing”. Am I the only one here who thinks that this cruel and  stupid woman has got off far too lightly here? 60 hours of community service is bugger all and no conviction recorded? Hmm If a man had caused the same amount of torment to a female victim  would he have been treated so lightly by the magistrate?

The saddest thing to me though is that at the age of 27 this silly woman is still acting like a cruel and vicious child. Now is there a time in everyone’s life when we should find this sort of behaviour totally unacceptable? We lowered the age of majority to eighteen and that is something that I totally approve of but doesn’t doing so imply that we should expect that everyone who has seen their eighteenth birthday to act like grown ups? Sadly with the cult of youth telling people like Rebecca Leigh Crimmins that they can continue to act like children well past their youthful foolishness we get a more shallow and mean culture and that is not such a good thing. The only response that I would have endorsed for this   tampon thrower would  have been a return serve of “the Book”.

Cheers Comrades

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No fries with that

Ok this may look a bit like an advertorial but I was rather pleased to see this story in today’s Oz. My pleasure is of course due to the fact that one of my best friends  has Subway franchise which gives me a small insight into the way that they do business.

Regular customer Susan Rogers places her order at a Subway franchise on Oxford Street in the inner-Sydney suburb of Darlinghurst yesterday. Picture: Alan Pryke. Source: The Australian

Since Subway opened its first store in Perth in 1988, the franchise has grown to about 1260 stores in Australia, exceeding the number of McDonald’s stores by about 430 and more than double that of KFC. “We are very happy with the way things have gone,” said Subway Australia-New Zealand regional director Brian Tap. “We’ve got a very good product and a strong value message out there and consumers have reacted positively.”

Outside of the US, Mr Tap said Australia was Subway’s biggest market based on store numbers, serving more than 1.5 million customers a week.

One of those is Susan Rogers from North Sydney. A regular for the past five years, Ms Rogers said she liked it because “it’s a healthy option, it fills you up and it’s a good price when you compare it to what else is out there”.

I have a reputation for defending Macca’s and I don’t retreat  from any thing that I have said about that fast food chain but its clear to me that Subway are like their bread on the rise and Maccas is effectively just treading water these days. Probably because it  sells a more “healthy” product. As far as I can tell the businesses that rise up the ramparts of success are those that tap into the times they operate in. McDonalds built their market share in a time when what mattered was calories per dollar. They  developed a market model that worked but now we are much more conscious of the fact that we should not eat lots of fat or sugar so the maker of a more “healthy ” product is bound to succeed. The good thing for those who still enjoy a burger is that the likes of McDonalds are now offering some better (healthier ) products in their menu as a response to the rise of Subway that is a win win situation.

Over all I think that the rise of Subway and the the influence that it has had on the the fast food market in general shows that capitalism can work and it can adapt to the needs of a society by a process of  innovation and evolution.

Cheers Comrades

Half a million page views at the Sandpit

I know that statistical miles stones are really meaningless but that does not stop you feeling pretty good when you reach them. Well if you keep an eye on the hit counter at the bottom of the page some time today I expect that you will see the counter tick over t0 the magical “500,000” mark . That is pretty good for a modest blog written as a bit of fun .

Thanks very much to all of those who take the time to read what I and my friends put up  here and a special thanks to all of those who take the time to comment and argue with what is on this web-page. Commentary and argument is the life blood of blogging and long may it keep pumping at the Sandpit.

Cheers Comrades

Oh dear!!!

Cheers Comrades

😉

How to beat the boom and get into your first home for nicks

“Home loans up by an average of $50 a month after rise in interest rates” say the headlines in all Australian newspapers today. But not for me.

I have just moved into my new home at Blue Gums Caravan Park here in Melbourne, close to the beach too. It’s not far from that upmarket Patterson Lakes (as seen in the brillient TV series Kath & Kim) where ‘knobs’ pay anything up to $1million and more for a McDonald’s McMansion, which I find strange cos I would not want to live in a takeaway food store. Here is my new home a 30-footer:

The way of the future. (Left click on this photo to make it bigger)

Now you will be asking me how did I manage to buy such a luxuriush home for nicks and beat the banks and the property boom? It’s all thanks to Norm the park owner who clevurly put the paperwork together. Norm put the price down as $14,000 and got all the money for me from the first home buyer’s grant using the name of a dead person. Norm says the van is only worth $7,000 (ha, ha, it’s worth ten times that!) so he will keep the whole $14,000 and that will also cover my site fees for 12 months. Next year Norm will just move my van to a new site in the park and we’ll do the whole thing again under another dead kid’s name.

So I have got a clear title to my home while all the knobs down the road struggle with their $3,000 plus per month mortgages on their Mc Donald’s McMansions. I’m larfing. Youse should get on to this, it is the way of the future for all young homebuyers, old age pensioners and derelicks.

(I’m saving my dole money for a porta loo and an extension to the van, which I will build as soon as I can find some decent canvas sail-cloth that some knob from Patterson Lakes has thrown out at the local tip cos it’s “not the right colour”)

Brother Number One and sin

One of the key features of the nanny state is the way that the “do-gooders” seek to invade every part of a persons personal autonomy “for their own good” No where is this more evident than the policy development unit that is concerned with grog, Ciggies and convenience food.

Brother Number One will ensure that all Aussies get fit  by rigidly supervised exercise programs

Brother Number One will ensure that all Aussies get fit by rigidly supervised exercise programs

It also recommended:

• The phase-out over four years of the marketing of fatty foods before 9pm on free-to-air and pay television, with laws to be introduced from 2014 if the industry fails;

• The average price of a packet of 30 cigarettes to rise to at least $20 within three years – the first excise increase in a decade.

• Plain packaging for cigarettes and restrictions on the number and type of outlets where cigarettes can be sold.

• Phasing out alcohol promotions in areas that attract people aged up to 25 years.

• Consideration of new liquor taxes and the introduction of a floor price to discourage alcohol abuse.

• Health advisory information labelling on containers and packaging of all alcohol products; and

• Special licensing conditions for late-night and high-risk outlets.

But apart from the Big Brother and big stick approach, people will be encouraged to take responsibility for their own health.

I can’t help wondering just how far this sort of state meddling in the way that people live thier lives is going to go , how long it will be before every poor sap will have to do their callisthenics routine in front of the view screen?

I just can’t stop being entirely cynical about the sort of sin taxing being proposed by this report. Quite simply I don’t think that it will make a scrap of difference to consumption but it will swell the coffers of the government and provide the pretext for more and more intrusion into the lives of people by the government. How long will it be before we all have to have a government approved “body mass index” or its off to the ” exercise” camps ? How long will it be before it be comes a criminal offence to be” wilfully in possession of a Burger and fries”?

Hmm I don’t know about anyone else but I am rather concerned that the sanctimonious religious zealots who are driving the millenarian green  cult  won’t be satisfied until no one can enjoy their lives and that we will be obliged to have or daily two minutes of hate, not for Goldstein , but focused upon “Ronald MacDonald”.

Cheers Comrades

1eek

The place to eat, in hard times

Here is some news that will make my Latte sipping friends writhe with disgust as their own favourite eating establishments go down the gurgler because people are wisely overlooking that $5 cup of coffee and expensive restaurant meal in favour of simplicity and value…

The recession has proved to be good news for McDonald’s as families abandon restaurants for less expensive fast food.

The American hamburger chain is expected to announce next week that it has just enjoyed its best ever year in Britain.

Beating the crunch: McDonald’s is expected to beat the recession and announce it’s best ever year in Britain

It joins rivals Domino’s Pizza and Greggs the Baker in cashing in from the consumer downturn. McDonald’s serves 2.5million customers in the UK every day.

And as the recession squeezes household spending, it seems consumers are giving up nights out in favour of staying at home with a DVD, a bottle of wine and a takeaway.

Big in breakfasts: Breakfasts at the American burger chain – like this Bacon and Egg McMuffin have rocketed by 10%

[…]

Sales of its McBreakfasts showed a 10 per cent rise and there was strong growth in ice cream business.

Last night, a McDonald’s source said that the group’s full year results, to be announced on Monday, ‘will show the 11th consecutive quarter of growth. It is likely to be McDonald’s best ever year in the UK’.

You certainly would not want to live entirely on the food served under the golden arches (ala Morgan Spurlock) but it certainly is not as bad as my latte sipping friends make out, and when it comes to recession proof business you just can not go past one that provides a necessity of life (food) at a price people can afford*.
Cheers Comrades
😉

* of course the best way to make you food budget go the distance is to buy basic ingredients and go DIY…

A “curates egg” of a day

Like most fathers I love my son and I love doing things with him that will make for a memorable experience. With that in mind we planned a day out to visit the Queensland Railway Museum which is in Ipswich and as this was to be a “railway experience” I decided to take up the option of travelling there by rail as well.

knapfordMy little mate was so excited about our day out and after breakfast we dressed and got the essentials together and we were out of the door by 9.30. A forty minute car drive later we were in the station car park. at the ticket window I discovered that we would be able to catch a train straight through to Ipswich (I had expected to have to change trains at Brisbane Central) and our tickets for the museum, which we could buy right there at our point of departure included our return train journey and the short bus trip from the station to the Museum. We took a seat on the platform and waited for our train.
“Will our train be pulled by a steamie or a diesel daddy?” my little mate asked me.
“No mate, the train will be electric” I said
“Oh” came his rather disappointed reply
“But we will see Thomas and the Fat controller when we get there” said I.
Each year over the summer holidays Queensland Rail turns their museum into a branch office for the Sodor Railway and this does a great job of tapping into the “Thomas” phenomenon that every little boy seems to be delighted by. To my mate and legions of other children an engine just has to have a face, a name and of course be really useful.

Douglas and a friend

Douglas and a friend

Having spent about twenty minutes waiting the train eventually arrived and we got in the last carriage. The journey from Strathpine to Ipswich took an hour and a half and I enjoyed seeing a view of parts of Brisbane and Queensland that I had not seen for many years. My mate was endlessly amused by the recorded message that said “doors closing please stand clear” that marked our departure from each station.I could not help noticing just about every other traveller tried to maintain an absolute indifference to their fellows. A necessary defence against the close proximity to strangers I suppose. Anyway after an hour and a half the train arrived and the next task was to catch a bus to the museum. The bored looking QR chap manning the exit from the station told me that all I had to do was cross Bell street and wait for the 504 bus. Fine I thought.

The sign told me that I had the right place so I sat on the seat and waited for the bus. We waited for ages and while we waited I had a chance to consider the group of people who was sharing the bus stop with us. They were mostly young, and the thing that I noticed first was their footwear most were wearing thongs, some those stupid oversized long shorts and that crime against good sense, the reversed baseball cap, despite there being some small children among them they were sprouting profanities and doing rather sad invocations of “gangsta” slang. Combine that with the litter and general air of decay and dissolution that is the city of Ipswich and I was beginning to think that I had made a big mistake taking the public transport option.

“I’m thirsty daddy”  my mate told me looking at my watch I figured that I had just enough time to go into the adjacent MacDonalds for a lemonade and a quick visit to the loo. We returned to the bus stop only to see our bus leaving. When I checked the timetable on the bus stop sign I realised that I had been looking at the Saturday timetable which, for a reasons known only to Translink,  has all services running about five minutes later than they do on week days. The next bus was not due for an hour.  As it was lunch time I thought that we could have some lunch while we waited for the next bus.

Now my regular readers will know that I get up the noses of my latte sipping friends by defending the” fine Scottish” restaurants and overall I have had very few negative experiences of the places, that is until yesterday. For a start the service was very disinterested and slovenly the staff were utterly indifferent to doing a good job. When we finally got our food delivered in a brown paper bag even though we were dining in, I was  disgusted to find that the fries were rather short on the correct measure for a “medium” meal and when I opened the Mcfeast box I found a burger that had been just thrown together, none of the ingredients were bad or inedible but the presentation was just awful. Then I  looked around the place and I noticed that there were unclean tables and litter on the floor. (my complaint has been sent to head office BTW) Feeling rather despondent as I went back to the bus stop and eventually a bus with the right number on it arrived.

Trevor the traction engine

Trevor the traction engine

After being shaken and jolted in the bus for about ten minutes  we got to the gate  and my little mate was delighted to see and touch the engines,  to play with the train sets that they had available in the “play pit” and to see the Fat Controller in person. My mate  had a lovely time and he wore his old dad out dragging me to see it all. I fully recommend the display and think that the way that QR use the Thomas stories as a jumping off point to explore the history of railways for small children, and their parents is great.
After asking when the next bus was and being told that it would be at a quarter past four we made our way to the bus stop with time to spare. when the bus did finally arrive at four thirty I was just thinking that is typical of the day and wishing that I had gone in my car.
We got back to Strathpine station at half past six and I had decided that under only the most dire circumstances would I EVER use public transport again.
My mate and I spent about two and a half hours at the Museum and the time there was lovely and for that joy we had to endure more than five hours of travelling, or waiting to travel, and visiting one of the most down at heal and depressing cities in Queensland. At least if we had gone in the sports car I would have enjoyed the drive.
Until next time Comrades

😉

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