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Paying James Hird in advance for 2014

My interest in sport is, well, about  less than Zero but I do find some of the machinations and politics of various  codes rather amusing for the passions that they invoke. The rather neat way that Essendon have managed to find a way to keep James Hird in grocery money while he is suspended during 2014 would have to get a very big tick for ingenuity though:

A FIERCE dispute between the AFL and Essendon over whether James Hird could be paid while suspended has meekly ended in farce, with the league endorsing a contrived arrangement in which the banned coach will receive his entire salary for next year before Christmas. The extraordinary capitulation by the AFL, which came a day after league chief executive Andrew Demetriou threatened to withhold regular funding from Essendon until it stopped paying Hird, came as the club was preparing to take the league to court. Having sworn to "go to my grave" with the knowledge that Essendon was not paying Hird, Mr Demetriou has now accepted the club will pay Hird his salary as stipulated by his three-year coaching contract. Under the terms agreed to last night, next year's salary will be paid this year. In a joint statement, the AFL and Essendon said: "The AFL has accepted the Essendon Football Club's position that James will not be paid in 2014 and equally the AFL have accepted that the Essendon Football Club has the right to make payments to James Hird in the 2013 year as it sees fit."

In a joint statement, the AFL and Essendon said: “The AFL has accepted the Essendon Football Club’s position that James will not be paid in 2014 and equally the AFL have accepted that the Essendon Football Club has the right to make payments to James Hird in the 2013 year as it sees fit.”

Sir Humphrey Appleby would be beaming with absolute approval at this bit of nonsense. Personally I think that it proves for once and all that there is no sportsmanship once the  spivs and lawyers get involved with sport.

Cheers Comrades


Dancing shoes Labor leadership style

Click play before reading on 😉

I can’t help but think that this is the absolute end for the Labor party and while it still exits and still holds government that is a a strictly temporary phenomena that is becoming ever more insubstantial. The media is a buzz with speculation that Rudd will make his run and that desperate Labor MPs will swallow their pride and embrace the leader that they loathe. and at present it all hinges on the nerve of Bill Shorten:

click for source

click for source

I don’t know, there is a big part of me that thinks that Shorten won’t back Rudd, even if it means that some party seats could be saved because in the longer term if Rudd were able to save any seats that Shorten’s  own personal ambitions could be very seriously stymied as Rudd could then continue as opposition leader for a rather long time.    No I still think that the party should and will stick with Gillard to the very bitter end because they know that changing back to Rudd without both substantive shifts in their more  stupid policies and enough time to make them viable  or even just credible  will not save  enough of the furniture to counteract the humiliation of another leadership change. They will look like and be a desperate rabble fighting for places on the very few life boats that remain. The whole thing reminds me of a game of musical chairs  where the  number of chairs is going from seventy to about 25 in one fell swoop the music may still be playing, the dancers are hoping desperately to make it to the desired chair…

Next stop for Labor is …


And you what the worst thing is ?

They have done it to themselves with one act of stupidity, arrogance and hubris after  over the last six years  and now they are finished for a generation at least and maybe they will die out entirely, who knows, they certainly have no idea at all about the needs of this country for first and foremost sound governance and a steady hand on the tiller. Grand ideas have to take second place to that no matter who is in power which is something that I  think Tony Abbott  understands and why I have more faith in the conservatives to deliver what this country needs.  Labor  will lose the election badly under either Rudd or Gillard and I really doubt that the difference in seats saved by the second coming of Kevin will be enough to matter.

Cheers Comrades


The all singing all dancing Kevin Rudd won’t save Labor no matter how flashy his moves are.

Dead ‘roo in the (Grevillea) Gardens

(by Ray Dixon – kangaroo culler from northeast Victoria)


I got quite a shock yesterday morning to find this rather large (and very dead) kangaroo had come to rest in the garden outside our Bright (Vic) holiday units

From my forensic examination of the scene I determined that the ‘roo had been hit by a car and then struggled into our front garden where it thrashed about in its death throes before carking it in the middle of one of  our prized Grevilleas.

Actually, from the look of the tyre marks on the nature strip and the lack of any skid marks on the road, it appeared that some cretin had deliberately swerved off the road to mow it down as the ‘roo grazed on the lawn. Someone with a bloody big ‘roo bar fitted to their 4WD, no doubt. These yobbo, redneck morons unfortunately exist.

So, what do you do with a dead kangaroo? There’s a long weekend coming up and the carcass was in close proximity, sight and smelling-distance of our guests. It’s not a good look. I considered the options, which narrowed down to the following:

  • Drag it back to the side of the road and hope that the official road-kill collector just happens to pass by?
  • Bury it on the spot?
  • Call one of the local restaurants to see if they needed an addition to their menu?
  • Or skin it, gut it and carve it up myself and then invite the rellies around for a ‘roo barbie?

In the end though, I decided to call the ranger at the local Alpine council, although he usually only collects live animals and takes them to the pound. Also, as the dead ‘roo was on private property, he could easily have said “it’s not our problem”.

Much to my surprise (and delight) though, the ranger agreed to come around, pick it up and take it away – almost immediately!

I’m not sure what he did with it but I understand there was a bloody big banquet at the Council Chambers last night.

The Carnivale is over

(by Ray Dixon – Regional Victoria’s grumpiest blogger)

Too much colour for Wodonga?

Too much colour for Wodonga?

Or: How to stop growth in a regional city

The city of Wodonga located near the NSW border is Victoria’s fastest growing regional centre with new homes going up everywhere. Wodonga’s come a long way in the past decade and was actually starting to look a bit more livable as it emerged from its previous drabness and Struggletown image, as the poor relation to its cross-border twin city of Albury.

Heck, it even started to get a bit interesting with the very successful and colourful Carnivale event that has been put on every year over the Labor Day weekend in March since the Commonwealth Games year of 2006 when Wodonga was paired with Jamaica – hence the Jamaican theme depicted above.

But such advancement is apparently too much excitement for the Wodonga City Council who seem to have decided that Wodonga’s really just a backwater … and that’s the way they want it to stay:

CARNIVALE, one of Wodonga’s premier events, won’t be held next year. No funding has been allocated for Carnivale in the city’s draft budget.
The council’s community development director, Debra Mudra, said last night a review was taking place into Carnivale’s format and its return could not be guaranteed.

Ostensibly, the reason the council has given for pulling the rug on the event and withdrawing its $100,000 in support is “so works can be done on the closure of Hovell Street and other significant changes to traffic and pedestrian flows around the city” but that’s just a joke. The city’s central streets are closed down for the event anyway, so what does it matter that road works will be taking place through the week? It’s not like they’ll be working on the roads over a long weekend, is it?

Of course the council claims it’s not necessarily the end of the event and says: “There has been no talk of Carnivale not coming back. The talk has been about let’s seize this opportunity for a review” but that’s like  telling your partner “I just need some time on my own to think about our relationship” – i.e. it’s an excuse to dump her.

So what’s all this got to do with you and why should you care what goes on in remote north-east Victoria, I hear you ask? Well, nothing, but I just wanted to have a bitch about it.

Actually, it should concern you, because if regional relocation is ever to become a reality (and God knows we need to redirect populations away from the crowded capitals), this type of backwards thinking and lack of vision and support for vibrant communities is just the sort of thing we don’t need.

End of sermon.

The first of many?

click for source

click for source

When a party faces the big fall of electoral grace from holding the treasury benches to the desolation and  wilderness of opposition its hardly surprising that old lags who don’t have the stomach for another bid will resign before the fateful poll that they know will end the careers of so many of their fellows. We saw a whole slew of Queensland  Labor members announce that they would not be re-contesting  before Labor suffered the Blight of Anna. Which leads me to the point of this post which is to wonder how many Labor Lags will follow Martin’s lead and step aside before the poll? To be frank  it is a horrible task to campaign when the voters are so disgusted with Labor.   So  I also wonder if Labor will even be able to get candidates  for every seat this time…

The ship is sinking and the rats are putting on their life jackets…

Cheers Comrades


You can bet on it, but advertising gambling is bad for us


Does gambling improve sport?

I’m not a gambling man by any stretch of the imagination, heck I don’t even buy lottery tickets but I am no wowser either I don’t care if other people want to have a flutter on the ponies or any other competition. On top of that I am lightning fast on the channel change button if I find sport on the TV. None the less I do have an opinion about the current issue of advertising by bookies during sports broadcasts. I just think that the infusion of gambling to be utterly pernicious and that makes me in agreement with Julia Gillard (oh the humanity!) but I am inclined to think that a total ban on the broadcast  advertising of  bookmaking would be the most socially beneficial regulation.

Cheers Comrades


“I get more pussy than u”

(by SockPuppet – your insitive Melbourne blogger and social commenter)

Another example of progressive Melbourne?

Another example of progressive Melbourne?

I have some questions for the hotlooking chick holding up the “pussy” sign at Yesterdays ‘marriage equality’ rally in Melbourne:

1. If you are getting so much “pussy” why do you want to get married to just one woman? You will get a lot less pussy that way.

2. If you are lesbian why are you standing so close to what looks more like a bloke in the black Tshirt?

3. If the ‘bloke’ in the black T shirt is female is she your lesbian lover?

4. If you answer yes to question 3 Why are you wasting yourself on her?

5. Is that bald bloke behind you picking his nose your Dad or your stalker? He looks like one.

6. Would you be interested in a threesome with Laura and me?

And for Gig Guy – see what I mean about Victoria now? It is all action here buddy, you would not see this in western muslim Sydney would you?


AFL round 7 (2013) ‘expert’ tips

(by Sockpuppet)

After last weeks raging success its a wonder I am still doing this. Let me explain something for the unAFLtipseducated:

The AFL has a habit – a very annoying habit – of giving names to some of its rounds. Youknow stuff like ‘Indigenus Round’, ‘Heritage Round’ and ‘Rivalry Round’. Real clever names like that.

So in the spirit of mockery I like to give every round a name of my owen. Last weeks was ‘Elephant in the room’ round in lew of Essendon being the drugcheating elephant-in-the-room that no one wants to admit exists. Its just all too hard for the AFL.

This week I am inspired by The worlds best newspaper (in there opinion) to dedicate the name of the round to the only place in Paul Keatingss ‘arse end of the world’ worth living in – V.I.C.T.O.R.I.A. And Dont blame me for that opinion – I am just the messenger.

The story starts here.

Or there.

On the next line.

After the dots.




It’s ‘Latte State’ round

I have said it before and I will say it again but I dont need to say it again because in todays Age (a Melbourne paper that is over-the-heads of people living in other States) has said it all for me in there groundbreaking article – Welcome to Victoria, the progressive state :

Politically, socially and culturally, Victorians are a breed apart from other Australians. Parochialism aside, Melbourne isn’t some backwater; it’s Australia’s fastest growing city and, by some accounts, will be its largest in a little over a decade.

I could not agree more. Victoria is The Garden State, On The Move, The Place To Be and whatever the next car rego plate says we are. Look at the other states (if you must and if you can stand to) – Sydneysiders are loudmouthed and have no manners or taste, Queenslanders are a bit slow onthe uptake, Tasmanians are inbred, South Australians have inferiority complexes (for good reasons) and over in West Australia they are just gungho bogan cowboys. As for the territories well please do we really need to explain that Canberra is full of lazy up themself public servants and politicians? And that Darwin is just a refuge for those on the run from the law? Of course not.

So what do we put our superiorness down to? This is what TheAge says about Victoria’s betterness (I have bolded the main points for the dimwits from other states):

So what’s going on? It seems that if you are a conservative in Victoria, you’re probably more a small-l liberal than a turn-back-the-boats sort. When he became premier, Ted Baillieu was under pressure to scrap the Human Rights Charter – loathed by the far right as the epitome of legislative evil – but he decided to keep it.

Jeff Kennett, for all his bluster, condemned the racial policies of Pauline Hanson in the late-1990s with more force than any other politician, and now spends some of his days campaigning against discrimination against gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and intersex people. Victoria may have been once dubbed the jewel in the Liberal Party crown, but the last prime minister we produced – Malcolm Fraser – quit the party in dismay over what he saw was its shift to the right.

Maybe it’s the weather. Maybe it’s the union presence. Maybe it’s the waves of successful migration. One guess is that it goes back to the Labor reforms of the early 1970s, out of which emerged a non-threatening, middle-of-the-road party, appealing to moderate Victorians.

It’s there wherever you look. Sydney radio presenter Alan Jones appears ridiculous to Melburnians. We just don’t like that kind of talk. Most Australians support gay marriage, but nowhere more strongly than in Victoria. At the republic referendum in 1999, the state with the highest ”yes” vote was Victoria.

”Left” and ”right” are tired terms that can’t pick up the nuance of people’s views, the genuine difference of opinion, the greys in any argument. But we Victorians are generally socially progressive, supportive of multiculturalism, wary of extremes of any kind.

Well yeah there is something in all that I suppose. Then again we have more than our fare share of bogans in places like Dandenong, Moe, Shepparton, Frankston, Geelong West, Craigieburn, Cranbourne South and in fact the entire Western Suburbs. There are even some bogans in Patterson Lakes but only at the caravan park where I live (we keep them on the west boundary) but the thing is that we have so many smart and better people that our average IQ and coolness outweighs all that and still puts us streets ahead of all other states.

And then of course there is another reason for Vic being “it”.

The thing The age overlooked.

I hate to state the bloody obvious but I will state it:

Melbourne is the birthplace and the heartland of AFL footy

And that says it all.

And on that note here are the tips for Latte State round:

Geelong v Essendon: There playing for the Danks Drugcheaters Cup. Geelong will win because they have been taking peptides for a longer time than Essendon … and they have 3 recent premierships to prove it.

Port Adelaide v Richmond: Despite there inferiorness the Port bogans will beat the Richmond bogans easily.

Brisbane v West Coast: Hayseeds v Cowboys – who cares?

Western Footscray Bulldogs v North Melbourne: The suburb of Footscray should be bulldozed and made into a carpark. That would clear up the drug problem over there.

Hawthorn v Sydney: Grand final replay. Or battle of the fuglies? Sydney still has the Goodes.

Fremantle v Collingwood: A toss up but I will go for the purple haze.

Greater Western Sydney v Adelaide: This is another ‘whocares’ game. And if GWS are really from western Sydney why arent there any muslims in there side?

Melbourne v Gold Coast: Its mothers day – no one will turn up.

St Kilda v Carlton: The Sainters are due … and Ray will disown me if I dont pick them.

Dont all rush in at once with your comments. Here are some more tips:

Queenslanders – take your time.

Syndneyysiders – try to be polite.

Taswegians – oh, you dont have the Internet?

Croweaters – go on dont be scared.

Western Aussies – get over yourselfs.

That is all.

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