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Bob Brown’s real reasons for quitting politics

This was posted as a comment  by GD But I reckon that its a light that should not be hidden under a bushel so here for your enjoyment is the translation of Bob Brown’s resignation missive  from Greenspeak to its true meaning:

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Dear Green Fiends –
This morning I was forced to resign as Leader of the Australian Greens. I will leave the Senate in June when the Tasmanian Greens nominate a replacement Senator. This should have happened a lot sooner, like twenty years ago.

I wanted to immediately thank you for your support, enthusiasm and direct involvement in Green politics on my watch. I can never forget or adequately repay the millions of dollars I have been paid to present my destructive policies to the senate. Of course the Greens didn’t pay this, it was the poor, misguided taxpayer. I guess there are some good things about a democracy.

Our Greens Party Room now has a dearth of talent which stands out even in Canberra. There are 10 of us, but every one is true to the Greens Charter and policies, and working hard to take Australia back to the Stone Age. We are Australia’s party with blinkers.

I have been contemplating my navel, and the occasional comet, for some time. I started 10 turbulent years in the Tasmanian parliament beginning with the Franklin River blockade in 1983, and ending with the disastrous Labor-Green accord of 1989-92: witness Tasmania’s gradual decline economically as the Greens blocked the timber industry at every turn. Today the state is an economic basket-case dependent entirely on the other states for survival. Of course our ideal plan for Tasmania is to turn the whole island over to World Heritage as a national park.

Since then, there have been 12 exciting years in the Senate. We have managed to stop all dam building across the nation, thus exacerbating water shortages in times of drought and hindering water management in times of flood. Our destructive political action for the Murray-Darling Basin has forced many farmers off the land and into bankruptcy. We have solved the problems of funding a dental scheme and a disability insurance scheme: we will tax the rich more and more, even after they die. We’re pushing for the legalisation of euthanasia, as this will help a few of them die sooner.

It is now time for me to hand on leadership to the motley rabble I call my colleagues. I am, after all, 666. I want to leave the ship before it sinks, content that the Greens have managed to destroy Australia’s economy for years to come. I’m particularly proud of the carbon tax in this respect.

This morning Party Room unanimously elected Christine Milne as Leader. Christine has been my great colleague and friend for the past 25 years and she will be a frighteningly bad leader of the Australian Greens.

I am ready to enjoy the other green pursuits, such as flying around the Milky Way with my new alien friends. Yes Earthians, they did call!

The Greens are an illogical response to the post industrial age human community’s need to secure the biosphere, biodiversity, equal opportunity and long-term economic, employment and lifestyle security. Greens political philosophy will spread like a cancer, bulldozing away the rights of any individual.

The future is Red.

Bob

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28 Comments

  1. GD says:

    and Pickering reckons…

    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

  2. Mate this is fucking nonsense bob is nowhere near as red as the ACTUAL STALINIST LEE RHIANNON

  3. Leon Bertrand says:

    Well written GD. You have a nice flair for writing. I agree with Ray’s suggestion that you would make a fine contributor to the Sandpit as a blogger.

  4. GD says:

    Thanks, Leon.

  5. lynot says:

    Iain, you must be desperate letting G.D. do the comedy here, he is less funny than Ray, who, as ya know, is about as funny as a bad case of hemorrhoids. But I digress.

    The Greens will still be around long after your good blog has run its course Iain so yuk it up whilst ya can. If you have around studying politics as long as you say you have, Well! What do they say? A week is a long time in politics. Gillard is going to be re-elected.

    Please no spin, no long winded diatribe a little bet with me will be fine.

  6. Iain Hall says:

    Lynot
    Given your long standing animosity to yours truly you must have been gutted when Ray and I killed a certain unmentionable blog stone dead

    As I recently pointed out to one of your electric friends I am not a spiteful or vengeful man so I will show the world that I am a better man than you by allowing your comment (although you will not be let off the moderation lead )

    Iain, you must be desperate letting G.D. do the comedy here, he is less funny than Ray, who, as ya know, is about as funny as a bad case of hemorrhoids. But I digress.

    Au Contraire the consensus here seems to be that GD’s efforts are clever, witty and very funny. Get with the program matey, Further a bad case of haemorrhoids could be absolutely hilarious if they are plaguing the right sphincter. For instance I find the notion that you yourself may spend his visits to the chemist desperately longing for a better treatment than a topical ointment absolutely hilarious but then I enjoy a bit of schadenfreude when it comes to certain individuals like you.

    The Greens will still be around long after your good blog has run its course Iain so yuk it up whilst ya can. If you have around studying politics as long as you say you have, Well! What do they say? A week is a long time in politics. Gillard is going to be re-elected.

    Matey the sad thing is that I think you actaully believe this attempt at positive thinking in the light of political disaster. However it is the good fortune of the nation that those who think like you are in an ever decreasing minority and that most of the feeble minded fools who endorse the Greens without question realise that Gillard is, in political terms Brown bread .

    Please no spin, no long winded diatribe a little bet with me will be fine.

    The trouble is you are anonymous here and I have absolutely no reason to think that you have enough honour for me to make a bet with you even though the thought of your ultimate humiliation does have some attraction you would have to prove your ability to keep your word and sadly I am sure that you lack the stones to do anything of the sort.

  7. Leon Bertrand says:

    “Gillard is going to be re-elected.”

    Sorry lynot but you immediately lost the debate as soon as you said that.

  8. Ray Dixon says:

    Lynot. Scumbag. Dirt. The next thing you say that is funny will be your first. And if you’re looking for humour you could always go back to your usual haunt @ whiny boy’s A.O.L. That’s a barrel of laughs. In fact you’ve got a real gall being here at all Lynot. Scumbag. Dirt.

  9. Iain Hall says:

    Don’t hold back there Ray 😉

  10. Ray Dixon says:

    GD left this bit out of Bob’s background. His brush with fame . From the ABC Online:

    Following his stint in Canberra the young Dr Brown decided to move to London, where worked at St Mary’s hospital and had several brushes with fame.

    He was working at the hospital when guitarist Jimi Hendrix’s lifeless body was rushed in.

    “It was pretty terrible. There were a lot of people very distressed at the scene, including his girlfriend at the time. But it wasn’t as if there was something to be done about it, there simply wasn’t any medical remedy,” Senator Brown recalled.

    Later in the 1970s he drew the ire of Richard Burton and an entire film crew when he walked through the middle of a movie scene being filmed at the hospital.

    “It was a scene were he escaped from the back of an ambulance. The cameras were all rolling and I just walked straight through the middle of it to get this man who was in a bad way on the other side,” he said.

    He could have saved Hendrix! And he didn’t biff Burton when he had the chance. Failure.

  11. Iain Hall says:

    Utter failure for sure!

  12. Ray Dixon says:

    Lynot would not find that funny. He’s probably never heard of Hendrix.

  13. Iain Hall says:

    Actually Ray I exopect that someone like Lynot would be insisting that he taught Hendrix how to play Guitar…

  14. Ray Dixon says:

    Yes, the joys of being anonymous – you can make up your own background. Maybe he flys lear jets too?

  15. Iain Hall says:

    I will have to forward the emails that a certain fly-boy has been sending me threatening me with the loss of my house if I mention his name. I have not had more laughs since well a certain blog was unceremoniously sent to the Google grinder.

  16. Ray Dixon says:

    That’d be Len Saxby, Iain? From Flinders Island Geelong. Ooooops … there goes the house.

  17. Iain Hall says:

    Check your email Ray

  18. Strider says:

    Thanks Iain & GD

    This is just pricelessly hilarious – although to be serious for a moment, there is nothing funny about the Greens in reality. Let’s hope, come 30 November 2013 when Julia calls the next election, they all get flushed away together.

  19. Ray Dixon says:

    I checked it, Iain, and I am surprised to find that I hadn’t received them before … seeing that, according to Sax, you are me. Someone’s been on the OuR MaFiA website buying ‘Shaman’s Dust’ by the look of it … ie flying ‘high’.

  20. Indii says:

    Garbage.

  21. Iain Hall says:

    Indii
    Your comemnts are welcome but you will have to do better than that mate, what do you think this place is?
    Twitter???

  22. GD says:

    I think Indii summed up the Greens and their policies quite succinctly 🙂

  23. Paul says:

    Good rindince to bad rubbish I say! Most Australians did not vote for this man to be our prime minister and yet he basically was out prime minister because we all know that JuLAIR just did whatever he said. Brilliantly summed up here by GD, he should seriously consider submitting this piece to a newspaper because it deserves a much wider audience.

  24. accidentally found this false info whilst studying says:

    seriously you lot are a bunch of red necked douche bags. because money is definitely more important than the earth. the end.

  25. Iain Hall says:

    Sweetie you obviously don’t get the idea of satire now do you?

  26. GD says:

    money is definitely more important than the earth

    Another greenie who reckons money isn’t important, while funding their lifestyle and ideology using other people’s money.

  27. bubba says:

    Bob Brown is a legend, you my friend are a self-centred ignorant tool.

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