This was posted as a comment by GD But I reckon that its a light that should not be hidden under a bushel so here for your enjoyment is the translation of Bob Brown’s resignation missive from Greenspeak to its true meaning:
Dear Green Fiends –
This morning I was forced to resign as Leader of the Australian Greens. I will leave the Senate in June when the Tasmanian Greens nominate a replacement Senator. This should have happened a lot sooner, like twenty years ago.
I wanted to immediately thank you for your support, enthusiasm and direct involvement in Green politics on my watch. I can never forget or adequately repay the millions of dollars I have been paid to present my destructive policies to the senate. Of course the Greens didn’t pay this, it was the poor, misguided taxpayer. I guess there are some good things about a democracy.
Our Greens Party Room now has a dearth of talent which stands out even in Canberra. There are 10 of us, but every one is true to the Greens Charter and policies, and working hard to take Australia back to the Stone Age. We are Australia’s party with blinkers.
I have been contemplating my navel, and the occasional comet, for some time. I started 10 turbulent years in the Tasmanian parliament beginning with the Franklin River blockade in 1983, and ending with the disastrous Labor-Green accord of 1989-92: witness Tasmania’s gradual decline economically as the Greens blocked the timber industry at every turn. Today the state is an economic basket-case dependent entirely on the other states for survival. Of course our ideal plan for Tasmania is to turn the whole island over to World Heritage as a national park.
Since then, there have been 12 exciting years in the Senate. We have managed to stop all dam building across the nation, thus exacerbating water shortages in times of drought and hindering water management in times of flood. Our destructive political action for the Murray-Darling Basin has forced many farmers off the land and into bankruptcy. We have solved the problems of funding a dental scheme and a disability insurance scheme: we will tax the rich more and more, even after they die. We’re pushing for the legalisation of euthanasia, as this will help a few of them die sooner.
It is now time for me to hand on leadership to the motley rabble I call my colleagues. I am, after all, 666. I want to leave the ship before it sinks, content that the Greens have managed to destroy Australia’s economy for years to come. I’m particularly proud of the carbon tax in this respect.
This morning Party Room unanimously elected Christine Milne as Leader. Christine has been my great colleague and friend for the past 25 years and she will be a frighteningly bad leader of the Australian Greens.
I am ready to enjoy the other green pursuits, such as flying around the Milky Way with my new alien friends. Yes Earthians, they did call!
The Greens are an illogical response to the post industrial age human community’s need to secure the biosphere, biodiversity, equal opportunity and long-term economic, employment and lifestyle security. Greens political philosophy will spread like a cancer, bulldozing away the rights of any individual.
The future is Red.