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BIG NEWS !!!! – Barry Hall decides not to do something

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The Age has put up its entry for the Walkely awards category of non-news story of the year.

I cannot believe that such a prominent newspaper as The Age has dedicated so much broadsheet and cyberspace to this non-story, that ex-AFL biffo man Barry Hall has decided not to pursue a boxing career because he can’t be bothered doing the training. It’s all too hard.

I should add that this non-event was also one of the lead stories on this morning’s ABC Radio National News – I kid you not, I nearly spilt my coffee when I heard the earth-shattering announcement.

Since when is someone’s decision not to do something a news story? It’s not like this changes or means anything to the average Joe in the street. Life will go on pretty much as normal, I suspect, although it might give the obsessed Twitter nerds something else to tweet about. You know, with a #barryhallwontbox hash tag or something like that.

So …….. I wonder what else Big Bazza has decided not to do recently that might also be worthy of such broad media coverage? Like:

  • Barry Hall decides not to go to the pub and get pissed tonight
  • Barry Hall decides not to take ecstasy or cocaine
  • Barry Hall decides not to expose himself in downtown Pitt Street, Sydney

And why stop there? Why limit the news coverage of such non-decisions to ex-sportspeople and/or B-grade celebrities? I want to see and read about what the little man has decided not to do.

Why not cover these news stories too?:

  • Ray Dixon decides not to turn professional (mature age) golfer
  • Iain Hall decides not to shave his beard he started growing 30 years ago
  • Leon Bertrand decides not to restart his blog

OR:

  • Jo Chandler decides not to admit her secret Internet identity

I mean … these are big stories. Are there any I’ve missed?

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