It’s doing the rounds but it is still seasonally amusing
Please accept with no obligation, implicit or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, Socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, Practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your Choice, with total respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, and their choice not to Practice religious or secular traditions at all…
And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally Accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose Contributions to society have helped make Britain great (not to imply that Britain Is necessarily greater than any other Country nor is it the only “BRITAIN” in the northern hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, Physical ability, religious faith, sexual orientation and choice of computer platform of the wisher.
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original Greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher actually to implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is Void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.