CLIVE Palmer’s bid to create a new political party is today mired in confusion, amid the short-lived recruitment of former speaker Peter Slipper and a renewed push for registration under a new name.
The mining entrepreneur today announced his United Australia Party, formed just three weeks ago, will now be known as the Palmer United Party, to avoid a legal battle with the Australian Electoral Commission.
Mr Palmer and his political allies will now attempt to register the party by the deadline for federal registration tomorrow, with a requirement for 500 signatures.
Palmer United Party reduces to a rather amusing acronym of “PUP” which is so cute and will doubtless provide the underpinning for so many possible puns and possible dog jokes about this whole vanity project being pursued by Palmer. I can’t think straight for laughter here so instead I’m just going to post some funny dog gifs with an invitation to caption them as is appropriate to the Palmer United Party:
(by SockPuppet – your insitive Melbourne blogger and social commenter)
I have some questions for the hotlooking chick holding up the “pussy” sign at Yesterdays ‘marriage equality’ rally in Melbourne:
1. If you are getting so much “pussy” why do you want to get married to just one woman? You will get a lot less pussy that way.
2. If you are lesbian why are you standing so close to what looks more like a bloke in the black Tshirt?
3. If the ‘bloke’ in the black T shirt is female is she your lesbian lover?
4. If you answer yes to question 3 Why are you wasting yourself on her?
5. Is that bald bloke behind you picking his nose your Dad or your stalker? He looks like one.
6. Would you be interested in a threesome with Laura and me?
And for Gig Guy – see what I mean about Victoria now? It is all action here buddy, you would not see this in western muslim Sydney would you?
CLIVE PALMER'S United Australia Party was today shown up as the amateurish, unprofessional outfit it is, with news that parliamentary grub Peter Slipper had applied to join, was accepted, and then kicked out -- in five hours. The episode destroys any credibility the UAP might pretend to claim.
As days in politics go, this one has been a farce, at least where Clive Palmer and his United Australia Party is concerned.
You really could not make this stuff up! I missed all the action as I was out shopping as this went down yesterday but at least it shows what a Joke Palmer's party is. Maybe he needs to take a page out of the history of ancient Rome where the Emperor would have a slave whose only job was to remind his master that he was only human, In Palmer's case he needs to be reminded that perceptions are everything and his whole vanity project party is clearly perceived as a total joke and the sooner he accepts that and goes back to playing with his very big toy dinosaurs the sooner the grown ups can get on with the more serious political issues de jour........................................................................................................................................ Cheers Comrade Yale
After last weeks raging success its a wonder I am still doing this. Let me explain something for the unAFLtipseducated:
The AFL has a habit – a very annoying habit – of giving names to some of its rounds. Youknow stuff like ‘Indigenus Round’, ‘Heritage Round’ and ‘Rivalry Round’. Real clever names like that.
So in the spirit of mockery I like to give every round a name of my owen. Last weeks was ‘Elephant in the room’ round in lew of Essendon being the drugcheating elephant-in-the-room that no one wants to admit exists. Its just all too hard for the AFL.
This week I am inspired by The worlds best newspaper (in there opinion) to dedicate the name of the round to the only place in Paul Keatingss ‘arse end of the world’ worth living in – V.I.C.T.O.R.I.A. And Dont blame me for that opinion – I am just the messenger.
The story starts here.
On the next line.
After the dots.
It’s ‘Latte State’ round
I have said it before and I will say it again but I dont need to say it again because in todays Age (a Melbourne paper that is over-the-heads of people living in other States) has said it all for me in there groundbreaking article – Welcome to Victoria, the progressive state :
Politically, socially and culturally, Victorians are a breed apart from other Australians. Parochialism aside, Melbourne isn’t some backwater; it’s Australia’s fastest growing city and, by some accounts, will be its largest in a little over a decade.
I could not agree more. Victoria is The Garden State, On The Move, The Place To Be and whatever the next car rego plate says we are. Look at the other states (if you must and if you can stand to) – Sydneysiders are loudmouthed and have no manners or taste, Queenslanders are a bit slow onthe uptake, Tasmanians are inbred, South Australians have inferiority complexes (for good reasons) and over in West Australia they are just gungho bogan cowboys. As for the territories well please do we really need to explain that Canberra is full of lazy up themself public servants and politicians? And that Darwin is just a refuge for those on the run from the law? Of course not.
So what do we put our superiorness down to? This is what TheAge says about Victoria’s betterness (I have bolded the main points for the dimwits from other states):
So what’s going on? It seems that if you are a conservative in Victoria, you’re probably more a small-l liberal than a turn-back-the-boats sort. When he became premier, Ted Baillieu was under pressure to scrap the Human Rights Charter – loathed by the far right as the epitome of legislative evil – but he decided to keep it.
Jeff Kennett, for all his bluster, condemned the racial policies of Pauline Hanson in the late-1990s with more force than any other politician, and now spends some of his days campaigning against discrimination against gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and intersex people. Victoria may have been once dubbed the jewel in the Liberal Party crown, but the last prime minister we produced – Malcolm Fraser – quit the party in dismay over what he saw was its shift to the right.
Maybe it’s the weather. Maybe it’s the union presence. Maybe it’s the waves of successful migration. One guess is that it goes back to the Labor reforms of the early 1970s, out of which emerged a non-threatening, middle-of-the-road party, appealing to moderate Victorians.
It’s there wherever you look. Sydney radio presenter Alan Jones appears ridiculous to Melburnians. We just don’t like that kind of talk. Most Australians support gay marriage, but nowhere more strongly than in Victoria. At the republic referendum in 1999, the state with the highest ”yes” vote was Victoria.
”Left” and ”right” are tired terms that can’t pick up the nuance of people’s views, the genuine difference of opinion, the greys in any argument. But we Victorians are generally socially progressive, supportive of multiculturalism, wary of extremes of any kind.
Well yeah there is something in all that I suppose. Then again we have more than our fare share of bogans in places like Dandenong, Moe, Shepparton, Frankston, Geelong West, Craigieburn, Cranbourne South and in fact the entire Western Suburbs. There are even some bogans in Patterson Lakes but only at the caravan park where I live (we keep them on the west boundary) but the thing is that we have so many smart and better people that our average IQ and coolness outweighs all that and still puts us streets ahead of all other states.
And then of course there is another reason for Vic being “it”.
The thing The age overlooked.
I hate to state the bloody obvious but I will state it:
Melbourne is the birthplace and the heartland of AFL footy
And that says it all.
And on that note here are the tips for Latte State round:
Geelong v Essendon: There playing for the Danks Drugcheaters Cup. Geelong will win because they have been taking peptides for a longer time than Essendon … and they have 3 recent premierships to prove it.
Port Adelaide v Richmond: Despite there inferiorness the Port bogans will beat the Richmond bogans easily.
Brisbane v West Coast: Hayseeds v Cowboys – who cares?
Western Footscray Bulldogs v North Melbourne: The suburb of Footscray should be bulldozed and made into a carpark. That would clear up the drug problem over there.
Hawthorn v Sydney: Grand final replay. Or battle of the fuglies? Sydney still has the Goodes.
Fremantle v Collingwood: A toss up but I will go for the purple haze.
Greater Western Sydney v Adelaide: This is another ‘whocares’ game. And if GWS are really from western Sydney why arent there any muslims in there side?
Melbourne v Gold Coast: Its mothers day – no one will turn up.
St Kilda v Carlton: The Sainters are due … and Ray will disown me if I dont pick them.
Dont all rush in at once with your comments. Here are some more tips:
Queenslanders – take your time.
Syndneyysiders – try to be polite.
Taswegians – oh, you dont have the Internet?
Croweaters – go on dont be scared.
Western Aussies – get over yourselfs.
That is all.
Regular readers will recall that I am on the hotline from our government members and they are always seeking my support for the important changes that they wish to make for the betterment of our country:
Labor people have always been champions for local community services.
Roads and footpaths. Parks and gardens. Sports clubs and community centres. Childcare. Help for seniors. Festivals and events. Community gardens.
For more than 40 years, federal governments have given funding to local councils to ensure our communities have these vital services.
Despite this, our most important document – the Australian Constitution – doesn’t recognise this.
That’s why I’ve just made an important announcement with the Prime Minister that on September 14 we are planning to hold a referendum on recognition of local government in our Constitution.
We need to add a few words so that federal governments can keep supporting vital services. It’s a small but important change.
This isn’t about politics. This change to our Constitution has the support of all the major parties – at this stage, even Tony Abbott.
Our challenge is to make sure our local communities know if they want to say “yes” to local services, they need to say “yes” to changing the Constitution.
Of course there have been two previous (failed) attempts to make this sort of change to the constitution and both have been soundly defeated. I totally understand why Albo is seeking an endorsement from yours truly, he must realise that without my support that this referendum question has about as much hope as his beloved Julia has of winning another term in the lodge. That said I wonder just how necessary such a change to our constitution is. After all our cities and towns have got along quite well without it up until now so is the status quo broken enough to require this change?
(by Ray Dixon)
“You’ve got some big testicles to pull that off, bro” (Charles Ramsey expressing surprise that his next-door neighbour was secretly keeping 3 women hostage)
I don’t know if there’s a reward for the rescue of the three women who had been held captive for 10 years in a Cleveland Ohio house but, if so, it just has to go to this bloke, next-door-neighbour Charles Ramsey.
And not just because Ramsey’s the one who answered the distressed calls of Amanda Berry and got her out of the house leading to a 911 call that then led to the rescue of the other two (and subsequent arrest of the owner and his two brothers), but also – and mainly – for this incredible and hilarious impromptu interview he gave to a TV journo soon after.
Make sure you watch it – it really picks up half way through. Ramsey’s a natural, almost a comedian. And, in my sincere opinion, he IS a true hero and deserves $1 million or more for what he’s done.