Collingwood v Geelong
The battle of the uglies
As promised, I bring you this preview of the biggest real football event of the year – the AFL Grand Final. We’re not talking about any girl’s game like Soccer here. And we’re not talking about that game of thugs played by short-necked, overweight, meathead, knuckle-grazing neanderthals in NSW & Queensland, known as Rugby League. No, this is Aussie Rules, our national game. We invented it. Or maybe the aborigines did but then again, how bloody Australian does that make it? If you don’t follow and support AFL then you are not fit to be called Australian – it’s off to Nauru for you … with no benefits!
Getting down to business and the main event, this year sees the clash of two teams that have dominated the season like never before. I don’t know why the other 15 teams even bothered to turn up because Collingwood & Geelong have both been practically unbeatable … although Geelong has beaten Collingwood in both their clashes, the latest being an absolute walloping in the final round just before the finals. Some people say the result didn’t mean much as both sides were already set in the #1 and #2 positions and the Round 24 game couldn’t change that. Those people would be mainly Collingwood supporters though.
Which brings me to the first reason why I think that Geelong will win: BETTER FORM.
There are other reasons why I think the Cats will prevail and deny the Pies (short for Magpies) the glory of winning back-to-back Premierships. Actually, I could say right here that I don’t really give a shit who wins and leave it at that but I’ll carry on.
Another reason for picking Geelong is the really dumb deal Collingwood have done to sack their very experienced and successful coach Mick Malthouse immediately after the game – win or lose – and replace him with ex-player Nathan Buckley who has never coached before.
How f*cking motivated do you think Malthouse will be to do the right thing and get his side up? He might even plan to lose just so he can stick it up Collingwood President Eddie Mc Guire, who forced Malthouse to sign this terminal contract two years ago, “or else …”.
Then again, Geelong is already coached by a rookie, ex-Brisbane Lions hit-man Chris Scott. However, this is a group of players who actually coach themselves and only need their official coach to not get in their way, which is exactly what the previous one did too – i.e. nothing – and they won two flags under him.
If you doubt what I’m saying just look at Scott’s identical twin Brad, who has been the coach of North Melbourne for the past two years, a side without a lot of talent and, consequently, without a lot of success. Chris and Brad are so identical they’re almost the same person, yet Geelong is firing but North is not. This supports my theory that Geelong players are so experienced, talented and motivated that the only purpose their coach serves is to carry the oranges onto the field at 3/4 time and show up to the press conferences after the game. Scott does that very well.
So my prediction is for a Geelong win and quite an emphatic one, in fact I reckon it’ll be all but over by quarter time.
But I don’t know if I’d be any happier about Geelong winning than I would be if Collingwood somehow got up. It’s hard to like either team and …. as for their supporters:
See what I mean about ugly?
.
I’m an easy going guy Ray so I’ll leave this one entirely to you but I will agree that there are some very ugly looking blokes in both teams and among their supporters as well
I’m off out today for a nice drive in my car, a couple of hours on winding mountain roads on a cool spring day, a nice coffee or two and then more mountain roads on the way home lovely jubbly!!!
Now that is real sport* mate !!
Cheers!
*real sport needs the magic ingredient: PETROL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My eyes! My eyes!!!
I must admit to being more interested in the V8′s for most of this year, but this does shape as a top game.
I’m with Ray, I don’t think Collingwood have been doing a ‘rope a dope’ and are suddenly going to look as strong as they did when at their best this season.
Plus, as a Bombers man, it’s just so bloody hard to like Collingwood, though you have to admire the way they have built the club up in the past few years.
So…. GO THE CATS!…….My friends, that are coming over on Saturday to watch the game, won the meat tray at the pub last night, how good’s that!
So the XF will be parked for the day, some meat will be burnt and we will be by the fireplace watching the game on our old CRT TV……Oh and sipping a glass of two of Chardy with the Oysters…..(It’s all true except the Chardy bit….threw that in for Iain).
Calling Pies supporters ugly? (Can we call that racist?)
Some of us are rather stunning.
She is a bit skinny Gabrielle, and frankly she sounds like there is not much going on inside her head…
She’s not a real Pies supporter – listen to the audio and the interviewer’s question near the end:
“Could you become a Collingwood supporter?”
“Oh yes, definitely, if they make the Grand Final”.
Okay, they made the GF but her answer was obviously confected for the shoot.
From my regular mail out Ray
The festivities begin after 12, Saturday 1st October at:
The North Fitzroy Star,
10 Newry Street, (Cnr Newry Street and St. Georges Road South)
North Fitzroy,
Victoria.
North Fitzroy, Iain. Says it all. It’s the suburb of Chai Latte, lycra and bicycles. A standing joke on the ABC’s ‘Coodabeens’. They got the venue right.
I can assure you that its just too far away for me to attend Ray, so its all down to you to fly the flag for the Sandpit
Send Craigy – he’s probably got friends in Nth Fitzroy.
Yeah that’s an Idea
On second thoughts, Craigy mentioned something about a meat tray for Grand Final Day. He wouldn’t be welcome with that in Nth Fitzroy – it’s a meat-free zone.
Thanks for posting the Anti-Football League email, Iain, most refreshing. I heard this bloke was on Melbourne radio today. And thanks Gabrielle for posting a much nicer clip than the ‘offensive’ pics that Ray posted.
BTW, what is it with Greenies who like meat trays, barbecue and V8 Super Cars?
I would have posted better looking shots of Collingwood & Geelong players & supporters, GD, if any existed. Believe me, the ones I posted were the pick of the bunch and Miranda was just a ring in.
You’re such a sourpuss, Ray.
You’re such a Collingwood supporter, Gabrielle.
Geelong by 38 pts – that’s quite emphatic. A win for the nerds over the bogans.
However, I am not looking forward to all the gloating, nerdy Geelong fans claimining “We are Geelong, greatest team of all .. and 3 flags in 5 years proves it.” It’s going to be unbearable.
Well at least it wasn’t Collingwood Ray
Breaking ‘news’: Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse quits (after being sacked) after losing Grand Final.
Thats b/s Ray.
This was always his last year anyway. He is retiring (supposedly ?)
Yesterday was always going to be his last game. That’s why he was in tears, he wanted to go out in a blaze of glory.
Reread what I wrote, Sax. Malthouse “quit” (as Collingwood’s Director of coaching – the position he was contracted for over the next 3 years) after the game when he was effectively “sacked” from the position of Coach (i.e. after his coaching contract terminated).
Btw, he didn’t cry – not this week.
No it’s not “old news”, Sax. Until yesterday that agreement (that Malthouse would not stay at the club next year as he was contracted to) was NOT made public. Even the Age story you linked to states “Malthouse quits”.
Aw, come off it Ray. Why can’t you just admit you were wrong and move on ?
Everyone knew it was Malthouse’s last game yesterday. God knows they mentioned it enough on the television b/cast ?
Your comment about him being sacked is also wrong. I do wish, instead of rushing for sensationalism you would stop and think occasionally, or at least like the rest of us, admit when you f*ck it up ?
I’m not wrong, Sax, it’s just that you have misunderstood my comment, which was intentionally ironic (hint – I put news in a pair of these: “). It’s also clear that you didn’t read the original post (hint – scroll up. Use the arrows at the side). This is what I wrote on Friday:
Obviously I knew it was Malthouse’s last game as Coach. As for the word “sacked”, that’s an accurate description of what happened. When you are given a contract to sign – as Malthouse was back in 2009 – that your employment will terminate after two years and you will NOT be re-employed in the same job (as someone has been appointed to it already) then that is the same as giving someone the “sack”. Malthouse was indeed “sacked” as coach, with 2 years notice. And, after yesterday’s loss, he then announced that he was “quitting” the job as Director of coaching. Why don’t YOU admit that you fell into it?
Again, your sarcasm misses the mark..
You f*cked up, and thought no one noticed.
Welcome to the real world !
Kazing !
Okay, Sax, I’ll just let it go over your head then. No point trying to convince you of the actual truth of the flippant comment I made. For what it’s worth (and for the last time) though: Malthouse was sacked (2 years ago). He then quit … yesterday.
Check this out Ray, should reinforce what I am saying.
Remember, this is from the 14th of July
I saw that interview at the time, Sax. It doesn’t back you up. Malthouse was saying he wasn’t sure what he would be doing next year as the exact role he would play at Collingwood (if he stayed) hadn’t been sorted out, even though he was contracted as “Director of Coaching” from 2012.
It wasn’t until last Saturday after the Grand Final that he officially & publicly announced he would not be staying and not fulfilling that contract. Subsequently, the media (including the reports you linked to earlier) broke the news that Malthouse had “quit .. walked out” on Collingwood. Why else would the media report it that way?
It seems to me that you don’t understand the distinction between the two jobs of Coach & Director of Coaching and that’s why my original comment here (Malthouse quits after being sacked) confused you.