Home » Domestic life » “Casual sex is a con: women just aren’t like men”

“Casual sex is a con: women just aren’t like men”

what every father of daughters needs...

I found this interesting piece in the Sunday Times and despite being a red blooded bloke who still appreciates the sight of a beautiful woman I found myself appreciating the viewpoint of Dawn Eden the author of this piece. I tend to think that having a daughter and knowing the desire to philander that is part of the male nature, has made a difference to my outlook.

Our culture — both in the media via programmes such as Sex and the City and in everyday interactions — relentlessly puts forth the idea that lust is a way station on the road to love. It isn’t. It left me with a brittle facade incapable of real intimacy. Occasionally a man would tell me I appeared hard, which surprised me as I thought I was so vulnerable. In truth, underneath my attempts to appear bubbly, I was hard — it was the only way I could cope with what I was doing to my self and my body.

The misguided, hedonistic philosophy which urges young women into this kind of behaviour harms both men and women; but it is particularly damaging to women, as it pressures them to subvert their deepest emotional desires. The champions of the sexual revolution are cynical. They know in their tin hearts that casual sex doesn’t make women happy. That’s why they feel the need continually to promote it.

As a younger man I embraced the idea that women would see sex in the same way that we mere males do, a physical pleasure somewhat akin to having a drink. I read Erica Jong and Shere Hite and thought that poor hapless chaps like me would have an easier time. ( a false assumption as it turned out) despite the advent of “raunch culture” the way that men and women relate to each other has not improved. I suppose that in the end we can’t really get away from the way that we are hard wired, our behaviour is still largely determined by the way that the biological imperative is manifested differently in men and women. Despite Erica telling women to look for the “Zippless Fuck” and Germane Greer telling them that they could fuck like men, for pleasure only, It seems to me that more women are waking up to the fact that casual sex for its own sake is not that satisfying.
These days I make Jokes with a mate of mine, who has a daughter the same age as my girl, about needing a very large shot gun as my daughter grows up and the inevitable issues about potential suitors become something to worry about. Oh I know that she will make her own decisions and what ever her dad says will be dismissed as I dismissed the things that my parents told me but I can only hope that what ever the prevailing propaganda is that there is a sensible head on those young shoulders .

Portions of any work that are quoted are reproduced on the basis of the “fair dealing for purpose of criticism or review” section 41 of the Copyright Act 1968.

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